Time Travel

 I have an interview Sept 4 for an instructor with 24 Hour Fitness.  Pretty exciting… the concept of getting paid for something I enjoy.  Haha.  I don’t have certifications BUT I am in great shape and have something most other applicants don’t- SEVEN years of teaching experience.

I have two weeks to figure out how to structure boot camp classes though (it’s been a while!).  Lucky for me, I have a one month membership waiting for me at a small gym for boot camp and kickboxing classes.  Win.  I know what I’m doing for the  next two weeks lol.  Wish me luck!

I just got off the phone with my father.  I am linked with my father in a way that I am not with my mother.  I’m not entirely sure why, since I have had limited contact with my dad.  My mom always took me to dance, worked at my studio to pay for my classes, and took care of me all day while my dad worked.  
But there’s a relationship with my dad that I can’t explain.  It might help if I explain that I am a female version of him.  

He fell on hard times (that befell our entire family) and often times, I don’t talk to him.  I talk to the blank shell he’s become, or the angry drunk version.  I think I talked to him… two months ago.  And it was the angry, demeaning, drunk version.  

I talked to him today and he was the father I remember from my early years.  When he was happy.  He was patient, funny, and incredibly intelligent. 
We talked about college. 
I’ve been confused about what I want to do so I’ve just been watching documentaries.  Trying to narrow down what I want to go to college for.  HUGE project since I am interested in so many things.  
Well, it just so happened that I started babbling about time travel.  

Eventually we moved on to some other topics before he says, "From what I know of you and from what I’m hearing, I think you should look into being an astrophysicist." 
And do you know what I heard in his voice?  PRIDE. 

I can’t remember the last time there has been pride in his voice.  
Usually there is disappointment, anger, frustration.  It kills me that I can never do anything to make him happy.  He’s sad, he needs help, and I’ve tried so hard to reach him.
 All I’ve wanted all my life is to make him proud of me.  I love him more than ANYONE and to hear him attempt to disown me, discourage me, put me down, KILLS me.

But today, he was there.  And he said he loved me.  

I am going to go for a very, very long run.

They say that you can’t live your life for anyone else.  
It’s a fine line.  

-INMATE-