Time out for *BOOOOM!* : D -EDIT

I am so happy I’m about to explode. 

My dad keeps staring at me real funny like, "Why is she so giddy…?"  I wish I could just blurt it out.  Go stand in the middle of the fucking road and tell all my neighbors.

Because I’m not just happy… I’m giddy.  I feel fucking nuts!

Story:  Kelly will separate from the USMC.  Summer will come.  We will move out to LA, together.  I will dance.  He will pursue college and inking.  Life will be good. 
I even told him that I would be auditioning for jobs in other places.  Out of town.  Out of state.  Out of country.  He said he didn’t care.  I said, "What about if I move to Tokyo?"  To which he calmly replied, "I don’t know if I could handle being the tallest person in the room but if I have to, I don’t care."  I almost died.

Scary?  Hell yes.  Almost terrifying, even.  Of course there are doubts, there are fears…
But I am so full of just… complete bliss… that I’m about to explode.  I have never, ever felt this way before. 
Inside, I know it’s right.  All that’s happening, all of it is right.  Maybe it isn’t meant to last; maybe things will fall apart in a year or so.  (Nahh…)
But I don’t care.  Right now, it is PERFECT; things are set in karmic balance.  And that’s what I am going to live for.  I am going to live for the here and the now.  I am going to live my fucking life for what makes me happy.

Speaking of which, my parents are going to go apeshit… and I have to deal with that (which makes me feel horrible).  But Kelly already said he’d be there with me and if so, then I think I can do it.  He’s on my list of people I trust… a list that is so short (and getting shorter) that it’s pitiful. 
Besides, we’ll both be 20 this summer.  I have to get over the fact that, while I’m not even really an ADULT, that I am not a kid anymore.  I can do this.

This is such a turn around- for both of us.  We had both hit terrifying lows lately… honestly, with all of my emotional/psychological problems I’ve been developing I’d even considered suicide, the first time in YEARS.  I couldn’t even comprehend going back to the dance studio, going back to teaching classes… even thinking about it made me want to curl up in the corner and cry.  And I did so.  Lots of times. 
Now, I can’t wait for classes again.  I can’t wait to move out to LA, to do my research, to find a place to stay.  I’m no longer petrified and I know I don’t have to do all of it by myself.

I could actually cry right now but it’s only because I’m so stoked.  Oh my God.  I can’t even express. 

†  INMATE 

Wearing::  Overlly ginormous camo pants, black dance t-shirt.
Feeling::  I’m sitting on a cloud.  But I don’t like cloud 9, I like cloud 77.  Capiche?
Last ate::  Today was the first day I’ve eaten where I didn’t compulsively feel like throwing it all up.  Opening up my mouth to Kelly saved my dancing career and maybe even my life. 
Listening to::  ‘The Anthem’ by Lil John and Pitbull.  I love this song.  : D

EDIT

I’m showing signs of returning humanity. 
A) I’m tired.  I feel like I’ve been going and going on not enough sleep and too much caffeine.  TRUE.
B) My stomach hurts.  Probably from me not eating the right amounts/healthily.  TRUE.  As a matter of fact, I just now made a protein smoothie- can’t remember the last time I drank one of those and purely enjoyed it!
C) My self-esteem has returned.  I’m not looking at myself through the judging eyes of other people but into myself; I am looking into what makes ME happy, not everyone else. 
D) I can sit down again.  I can lay down.  I can relax without feeling the disastrous need to KEEP GOING!
E) I’m enjoying everything I’m doing again.  Dancing.  Drawing.  Writing.  I can do it now because I enjoy it.  TRUE!
Wow.  Life is truly grand, isn’t it?