The Ensor’s Most Entertaining Survey.

To attend So You Think You Can Dance… or not?  That is the question of the day.  Chicago auditions are March 8, and ATL auditions are April 5.  o.O  Hmmmmm…
I’d rather have a cruise line job than do SYTYCD, because then I’d be paid.  I really need the income. 
We’ll see… but if I go I need to find airline tickets ASAP.

I just taught age 7-9 "Adv" tap.  They’re not really advanced, but they’re not beginners.  Well, 1/2 of them.
Grrrrr.
Little kids. 
::strangles::
It was fun during warm-up… I’m a very vocal teacher (all full of sound effects and words) and every time we switched feet I had ’em yellin’, "WHAT!?" 
It was pretty darn cute.  ..
Until I kicked them out at the end of class for not paying attention and arguing like children. 
Which they are but I can’t stand it. 
::strangles::
I will never ever have children. 

And now… the Ensor’s survey which I meant to take a long time ago but didn’t!  Yaaay! 

Procrastinator Plus, version 5.7
(yet another survey, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Ensor)

1.) The next fad in body modification is another step toward a cyborg society — incorporating common household items into the body. Which would you choose: a toaster, a blender, a creme brulee torch, a corkscrew, a vegetable peeler, or a palm-sized skillet?
A blender.  I know, I know, it wasn’t one of the options.  But I can live off of a blender.  If I incorporated a blender into myself… shiiiit.  I could eat without a kitchen. 
But… out of these choices I would choose a palm-sized skillet.  All the better for whackin’ people with.  X D

2.) What’s your favorite "Yo Momma" joke?
Yo momma’s pussy’s so nappy, her crabs drive dune buggies.  *Laughs maniacally until tears fall down her face*

3.) What’s more dangerous: a cell phone under your pillow while you sleep, an angry spitting llama with a cold, or jumping into a bathtub full of notebook paper?
An angry spitting llama with or WITHOUT the cold… this is a no brainer.  Unless you want to remember phone numbers by osmosis (cancer notwithstanding…). 

4.) How did you receive your most bizarre or embarrassing minor injury?
My whole life is filled with bizarre and embaressing minor injuries.  But the most memorable is probably the scar I have on my knee.  See, there are a lot of annoying bugs in Minnesota and one evening I was working in the garden.  Well… the bugs got the best of me and so I stood up, all bad-ass like, and started whackin’ off bugs with my hand shovel.  Until I lodged the shovel into my patella  and I couldn’t feel the lower half of my leg until I woke up the next morning.  (So much for bad-ass…)

5.) If you had to lose conscious control of one facial feature, which would you pick?
I wouldn’t pick; I would flip a coin.  Maybe between my ear and my iris.  O.o

6.) You’re battling several zombies in a locked gymnasium — plenty of room to run around and maneuver, but no escape and nowhere to hide — and you can only choose one of the following weapons: a pointy stick, a metal spork, a clarinet, a basketball, a calligraphy pen, or a Precious Moments figurine. Which do you choose?
Why would there be a metal spork in a gymnasium?  Nevertheless, I would choose the metal spork.  Or the pointy stick, but only if it had a longer reach on it- I have short arms.

7.) What’s your middle name? Is it more or less embarrassing than whatever nickname your parents used when you were younger?
Uhhh.  I don’t know.  Flipside diner!  Ooh yea… ::jams:: 
I must admit, this question got the best of me.

8.) What are three distinct smells that you could never confuse with any other odors?
Umm… honestly… I barely have a sense of smell.  But… maybe… sweaty feet.  Ewwwww.    I smell it now…  Must be mine… Ewwwww.

9.) In the future, everyone will wear jumpsuits featuring one form of securing device. Would yours have buttons, snaps, zippers, drawstrings, laces, duct tape, safety pins, belts, or Velcro?
Drawstrings!  I hate velcro and tape and buttons are a challenge.  Laces are ick.  Zippers maybe.  Zippers are pretty ballin’. 

10.) Are any parts of your body smooth that shouldn’t be? Is that by design or one of fate’s cruel jokes?
Spamwich?  Have you ever had spam tacos?  I have once.  They were decent.

11.) You’ve been elected to create and run a brand-spankin’-new country the size of a standard postage stamp or the principality of Monaco. What do you name it, where would it be located, and what does your flag look like?
OOOH FUCK YES, I’m excited!  When do I get the paperwork?
My country will be called Bombaza, it would be located in the Pacific Ocean somewhere near Japan and the flag would look like this:

You know why it would look like this?  Because my country would steal ALL of Japan’s teriyaki chicken until there was nothing left.  ::Drools::
Like I said.  PAPERWORK.  IMMEDIATELY. 

12.) What’s the most nauseating pet name you’ve ever used for a loved one?
I don’t think I’ve ever used one.  I am NOT a pet name kinda person.  I’m not a lovey dovey kinda person either.  I’m not really touchy-feely either.  Yea, I’m one of THOSE.  ::makes face:: 
No, I just really respect my personal space and alone time…

13.) Your rich crazy neighbor has died and left you something in his will… a rambunctious and troublesome baby dragon. How do you handle the staggering food bills and skyrocketing insurance rates?
::scratches head::  I sell him back to Canada!  

14.) What animal’s keen natural fashion sense do you wish you could mimic with your clothing choices?
Gah!  Ummm.  None?  Is that a choice?  I’d rather not…

15.) Soccer balls suck. Give them a makeover.
OOOOH With red… OOOOH I’d draw little hatchetmen all over it!  And then maybe some red maribou… *Gasp of delight*  I need a soccer ball.  NOWWWWW! 

†  INMATE  †

Wearing::  Dark gray capri cut-off sweatpants (I swear they used to be black), electric blue & white halter top and white sweatshirt. 
Feeling::  Nauseous.    Must be the feet smell.  ::scowls:: 
Last ate::  A fourth of a chocolate Payday bar (made my stomach hurt).