***My gift to the world.***

I’m spending a lot of time by myself in one of the dance studios simply

exploring movement.

Dance is no longer tricks (or even technique) to me, dance is my soul.  It is my religion- it is my God and my lover and my fear and my passion.

Dance is existence.

It is the reason I wake up in the morning and it is the last thing I do before I go to bed.
I thank the Lord for giving me such a beautiful talent because it is only through dance that I have a voice.

In essence, I have no past- I refuse to talk about much of my past because speech/words gives it no justice and brings me back to everything that I have purposely forgotten. 

But this is a blessing because I am thus a listener.  I am able to take other people’s lives and slowly mold their experiences with mine. 

I take their pain and their joy, coalesce it with mine, and create an entity that only exists in my mind and I give it life. 

I give it movement.

It’s like nobody knows who I am but when I walk on stage and begin to dance, there is silence.  I finish and I walk off and people are amazed; the auditorium is in an uproar.  They approach me and say, "-That was so unique, and it’s so precious to see someone actually dancing from their heart."  "-You are such an inspiration to me."  "-You are beautiful."  "-I want to be just like you."  "-Your emotion is overwhelming."  "-I have never seen anything like that before."  "-I love your style."

Every compliment I receive means so much to me, because my audience isn’t watching just a dance.  They’re watching ME, the part of me that begs to be acknowledged for its traumas past endured and enduring.

They’d just lived through every single time I’ve cried, every single time I’ve loved, every single time I’ve laughed in sheer joy, every single time I’ve fled for my life. 

Yet, I’d opened myself up to them so completely and so utterly only because I know that they will never understand the language of movement.

-INMATE-

(So I’m upside down and sideways.  What’s new?)

Wearing:: Bleach stained dark gray cut off sweatpants, black graffiti ROXY muscle tank, white Nike hat, black VANS.
Last ate::  BBQ sandwich and beans/corn, and mint choco chip ice cream!
Feeling::  Introspective.  Such a rarity…