Music, manners and the middle finger.

It’s late but I’m not sleepy.  I ate too much.  😛
It’s gonna be such a job getting myself back into shape.  Ugh.  But it can and will be done.

Tuesday night, my first night in Dallas I spent in a baseball field.  Yes, that was in my edit.  Handstands on 3rd base, cartwheeled through outfield, ran the bases and sprinkler lines.  Justin was with me, a second compadre from So You Think You Can Dance.  He’s really sweet, easygoing and really easy to talk to.  A little too sensitive, feminine, and preppy for my typical tastes but he’s still cute.

Robert finally texted me back this morning.  I don’t think I’m even gonna make the time to see him.  He’s a GREAT guy but I screwed that relationship up…  That’s not what I wanted out of that relationship at all and now everytime I think of him I don’t think of HIM, I think about the sex.  It was phenomenal but… it’s just one of those things that doesn’t seem right to me.  But I’m still here for another 2 days- TITAN!  TITAN!  TIIIIIIITAN! 

Wednesday was competition r the girl I’m staying with.  I choreographed her solo.  She did amazing and I was so proud of her. 

This morning I went into the ghetto with a handful of moms, one dad, and 5 children the age of 10. 
It worked in the way that the parents all got to watch Sex In The City and I went with the younger girls to see Kung Fu Panda.  Which was more my kind of movie anyway.  XD  Plus, the little kids laugh at all my jokes.  :X

Anyway, I ate lunch of chocolate covered raisins and peanut m&ms.  OOPS. O:)

Saw Justin later on- we went out to eat and he insisted on paying this time.  I ate so much, I am so full of sugar right now.  EEP.  NO bueno.

We couldn’t figure anything else out to do so we just came back to the hotel room to find some brochures or some shit.  Ended up going through my music… which I LOVE to do.  I am such a music person I can peruse music for HOURS.
Well, we sat on the couch (my BED thank you very much) and went through it for at least two hours.  I have around 5000 songs so it was a very quick look. 

Justin was still here when my roommates (the girl whose solo I choreographed and her mom) returned. 
We had just been sitting docilely next to each other, I think his arm had been around me, on the sofa, but when the door opened, he jumped a foot in the air and moved away from me.  Hunh.  I had no doubt in my mind then what he’d really been thinking about. 
He’d said earlier, "WOW.  You are totally calm.  I can’t believe this.  And cuddly!  I wouldn’t have expected it."
To which I replied, perfectly clipped and to the point, "Good.  You shouldn’t.  It just so happens that I have someone next to me who appreciates music- which, besides dance and food, is the most fantastic thing on this planet."
ANYWAY he started a convo with the mom and I was being a smart ass (like usual) and he flicked me off.  No lie, I probably deserved it.  However, there were 2 of my students in the room as well as a mom.  I was horrified.
The girls promptly left, and the mom (who is a college professor) gave him an earful.  He felt super bad at least.

I had a 15 minute textin convo with my roomate girl… she’s in high school so she sees that kind of thing all the time.  You know how high school is… she’s probably seen more drugs, fingers and asses than anyone gives her credit for.  So she was A) Confused as to what exactly happened but B) More confused as to why he apologized. 
So I had a brain teaser at 0100 as I tried to explain to her the powers of A) There is a time or place for everything and B) Think before you act.  Haha.  Awesome.

It’s tough sometimes, as I see nothing wrong with a lot of the crazy stuff that goes on.  I even deserved "the finger" in this instance, I admit it.  (I should receive an award for being the world’s biggest smart ass.  If you’re easily offended, do NOT hang around me.)
But… around my girls… really?  I work so hard to be a role model for them. 

When I was growing up, the one person I wanted in my life was someone who wouldn’t give me all the typical bullshit about growing up-
I wanted the answers to the hard questions.  Ok, a bully is picking on me- How many times do I have to walk away from his taunting before I can plant my fist in his teeth?  How do I turn down drugs without being designated a LOSER?  Have adults tried drugs?  How do I tell the difference between a guy who likes me and likes my body?  And what about sex- is physical attraction normal?  And my parents and counselors ALWAYS gave me the watered down, bullshit, stereotypical answers.  I hated it!  They were all so fake!  (Believe me, I figured these out eventually but they’ve ceased to be important since I’ve grown up…)
I want to be able to teach my girls what’s right and what’s wrong… I feel like I’m a mentor for these girls and I guess…
I don’t know.  I guess my point is just that as I go through life, trying to pick up on what is right and what is wrong, I’m providing the example for others.  It’s confusing.

Yea, well.  Anyway.  Justin kissed me good-bye tonight.  I thought I saw him get that look while we were sitting on the couch but then it got lost in the events that followed.  He was walking away to leave before he turned back around and caught me completely by surprise.  Which was nice.
But was that moral?  Was that right?  We’ve hung out only 4 times and we have no future since he lives in Dallas, I live in Austin, and I’ve suddenly become adamant about no long distance relationships.

I think I’m just making a mess out of everything because it’s 0300 and I’m upset I’m not sleepy.  I’m still talking to Christine.  Lol.  Awesome-ness.  I have company.
Haven’t been sleeping real well lately.  Haven’t even been dreaming.  Livin’ on caffeine… ooh yea.

-INMATE-

Wearing::  Bright pink/olive green satin pj pants, olive green muscle tank.
Feeling::  Pretty baller except for the fact I’m not asleep.  I need to work out.  BADLY.
Last ate::  Dinner at some mexican place.  It was expensive Mexican.  I don’t believe in expensive Mexican to tell the truth… the best Mexican food is at the little places with bars on the window, the people who don’t speak English, and the whopping cost of $4 a plate.