Demonic Dog and Cable Television

I have spent too much time house/dog sitting.  I have been in this random house for the past four, five nights, and I have three nights left.  One of the two dogs I’m taking care of is a Maltese.  And it is psycho.  A Maltese is one of those dogs with long white hair that drags on the ground and is about teh size of a large rabbit.  The one I’m sitting matches that description.  It also has these abysmal black eyes and it just stares at you.  You can’t pet it, and it doesn’t play but it follows you EVERYWHERE and gets cheese with every meal.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE dogs.  I’m one of those people that can befriend a stray dog even if it has rabies without getting bit.  But this spoiled Maltese fucker has bitten me three times.  It randomly spazzes out and starts growling and hissing and thrashing and it has bit me three times.  I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with it because it acts really friendly before it freaks out and it will lick me and wag its tail.  And then it will freak out when I stand up.  It’s fucking weird.  I’ll be standing opposite of it in this long hallway and it will be sitting there, watching me.  In the shadows it looks like a ghost and I’m like… Hi puppy, Hi puppy, and it goes grrrr.  I just go “Fuck that” and go watch tv.  I always get along with dogs.  Maybe he doesn’t like my pants.  But one time when he bit me I wasn’t wearing pants.  O.o  Sigh.  I don’t know.  The other dog is a Cocker Spaniel named Buddy.  The thing is so sweet and fat and spoiled rotten.  It is a dog dog and is proud of it.  I personally think Cockers are quite uncute, but he is very amable and charming. 

The best part of this whole trip though, is the cable channel.  Oh my god.  There is cable.  Channel 07 is a menu and I watch that for a half an hour straight sometimes.  It’s so fucking awesome.  I usually watch the history channel though.  The only times I’ve had cable were when we lived in apartments.  I think we’ve lived in two apartments in my life and three different houses, so this cable shit is pretty cool to me.  How do you pick what to watch?  It’s so confusing.  And that is why there’s the History Channel.  : D 

Anyway… I must go back to my beautiful estate of confinement with a demonic dog that is contemplating ways to bite my carotid vein while I’m asleep and the cable television that beckons to me when I open my eyes from sleep to the dark, bottomless ones of the dog…

Pz homies.  MCL