Entry 783: Scouting – First Night Back
We started back at Scouting this week.
We were to expect approximately 16 children. We were thinking this is great! We understood that none of these had been a Cub yet because some where due to move up 18 months ago and the world went to pot.
We got 6. Four from Beavers, two from outside of Scouting.
We didn’t expect to get much done. We played games, tried to get to know the young people (YP).
There was one kid, B. He has ASD, we knew about it beforehand, we’ve had many YP who have been ASD or SEN, that wasn’t a problem.
B screamed, cried, kicked furniture, threw chairs, punched windows when he didn’t win the game. Some games we can sway so one child wins this time, one child wins that time, most we can’t. Most we don’t. He won a few, same as every other YP playing. We can deal with how he reacted to the games. He ran off crying, a leader went with him (for safe guarding purposes as we aren’t the only ones using the hall on our night) but gave him space to self regulate. Once B had calmed down and we had finished that round of the game, he came back and joined in again. Excellent.
Towards the end I (being the main leader) explained how we usually start and end the night (something called Grand Howl). We did a quick run through step by step.
I said when I say (loudly) “Pack! Pack! Pack!” They say (loudly) an extended version of “Pack!” as they get into their Sixes (little groups within the Pack). B took this to mean scream high pitched. This was my fault, I didn’t give boundaries. I reconfirmed what I meant, giving the boundaries. He didn’t follow them.
B then came up to me, beckoned me close and screamed down my ear. I said “no, that is not acceptable, please do not do that.” The leader who had offered to be his 1-2-1 for the evening (Zoe – my wife – has personal experience with ASD due to her having ASD and it being part of her job) helped reiterate that this was not okay.
The next part of Grand Howl is where the YP are in a horse shoe around me. I had my back to B as I was answering/talking to the YP opposite him. He decided this was an appropriate moment to smack my bum with both hands. I turns around and said “Don’t touch my bum, it’s not funny. That’s not appropriate.” Zoe helped.
We finished the night early so played a game. One of those games where we can’t control who wins. B came second. He was not happy with this. Ran off, crying. Literally as we finish the game, I see a parent (not B’s parent) pop their head around the door, she waves to let me know that they are all ready when we are.
I finish up the game, B runs out to his mum and hugs her. He is visibly upset. She says to B to thank us and say bye. He did both and they left. I wanted to talk to mum about the events of the evening but had other parents there and needed to make sure the YP all went to the right parents and told me they were going etc.
In hindsight, because of B, I’m glad we only had 6 YP. But if his actions mean that the other YP don’t want to come back…
On our way home, Zoe messaged out Group Scout Leader (GSL) (the equivalent to a manager…?) about the evening to keep her informed. GSL said it sounded like it was a stressful night and asked if we had spoken to B’s mum yet. Zoe explained everything and that I was going to message when we got home to see if/when I could phone.
I sent B’s mum the message asking if I could phone her, she said she was available so I put it on loud speaker. (I have trouble with my hearing on the phone anyway so usually need Zoe to help, but for safe guarding of myself, a second leader being part of the conversation is a good thing.)
Zoe and I had wrote out a few points to mention as I often get lost in conversations and my mind goes blank.
After everything had been discussed, B’s mum said that it all sounded like her son and explained he probably thought those things were funny. She said she would have a word and explain not to do that and why etc. By the sounds of it, she has this word with him fairly often and is struggling with him.
I reassured her that it wasn’t us being mean or negative but we wanted her to have the full picture of what happened during the evening. She appreciated that we were honest and basically didn’t bullshit around it.
I did say that it being a new environment, routine, place, people, everything will have had a big impact and we’ll work with her to make Cubs a safe place.
Hopefully, next week and the weeks to come, it will get easier.
To be honest, the night went okay. It was vaguely as expected with it being the first night back in nearly 2 years. I’ve just had earache for 3 days now and paracetamol doesn’t seem to do anything.
I can’t be there every week because of work and I have a new role in district. I’m hoping to visit all the other cub packs and obviously some are going to be on the same nights as my own.
-Jack