Break down every man you love.
This entry is based off this post:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too Painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…” —Elizabeth Gilbert
artwork by Sarah Maxwell Illustration
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My response:
I agree with all of this, except I think that you will love and have a connection to all your soul mates for life, even if you aren’t in a relationship with them. And you can stay in a relationship with a soul mate for life, as long as you are constantly growing and evolving.
Soul mates are here to tear you down so you can build yourself up stronger. True love is seldom a completely comfortable experience because as humans we are all broken and flawed and should be constantly evolving so we can level up to new karmic lessons in a future life. A true love soul mate does not make you feel more complacent in your flaws and brokenness….. that can be a pleasant but stagnant relationship, a “perfect” fit of compatibility with no challenges… but not a soul mate relationship. Soul mates bring your flaws and brokenness to your attention and push you to act to become the better version of you, constantly. They are the only ones who can expose your wounds and toxic traits to you because your love for them is so deep that you are willing to look at even the most painful parts of yourself if they urge you to do so. You can often tell when you are in a soul mate relationship when you think “OMG this person hurts me in more ways and more deeply than most others cannot even if they try”. Often times this hurt is necessary because in the end, it brings the most enlightenment and healing.
I have been telling everyone recently, that as a woman we should seek to break down every man that comes into our lives, at least a little bit. Some people think this is extreme and me being some type of angry feminist. But really, I think for centuries men have had their egos inflated, they have caused so much pain and suffering due to their need to control and their inability to express emotion effectively. I think anyone born in a man’s body probably has some issues with ego and control and emotional suppression, etc. And if you continue to allow these men to try to control you, suppress their emotions, be cold disconnected fuck bois…then you are stunting their soul growth by allowing them to stay complacent in these toxic immature traits.
Breaking them doesn’t mean leaving them completely or being malicious, it just means in a loving but firm way making them face and express emotions, making them become vulnerable, making them become open-minded and see things from different perspectives, making them let go of control and dominance and stubbornness. You do this by refusing to bend to the demands of their egos the moment it becomes uncomfortable for them and they begin to shut down or get angry/jealous/distant. Point out when their behaviors are toxic and coming from a place of trauma. Challenge them, even if you feel empathy for them, and Set boundaries with them.
I’m sure this would apply to many women as well, but too often, I see women staying with and bending to manipulative and egocentric men. These men need to be broken and you are doing them no favors by sparing their egos because you are afraid to hurt them. The classic example of this is how so many women fake orgasms because they are afraid to hurt a man’s feelings (ego). Stop it. He will only be able to make you cum once he works less from his ego and more from a sense of empathy, giving, vulnerability, and openness.
The soul only grows when the ego is challenged. Please, Break down the ego of every single person (and especially every man) you have an intimate loving soul-mate relationship with. They will thank you for it in this life or the next.💖