w…o…w…

i keep getting tossed about!!

but at least i found a decent room mate…her name is katie from work…she’s a very nice girl, and i can stay out of trouble with her…lol…

kyle doesn’t have the finances at this point in time…so we’re still going to figure something out..he’ll probably get his own place in january so that we can have actual dating time for a while…and then maybe find a place together in june…i might find a place with him in january if he doesn’t think he has enough money to pay for his own place…but we’ll have to see…i don’t want to go against my parents’ wishes…because no matter how much i want to move out, i still appreciate their financial support…and really need it if i want to stay out of debt…

so, jess let my thing slip…so i’ve had to tell leah about everything…i did…and i explained every possible aspect to her so that she wouldn’t go ape shit on me…because she’s really scary like that…so, hopefully that works out…i wrote a long ass email to her…so hopefully she reads it and doesn’t jump to conclusions and bitch at me…i also told her that what i do is my business…what i do/don’t do, who i do/don’t do, what goes on in my private life is mine, and not hers…and although she did go out with him before, that is over now…and i didn’t bitch at her for going out with matt…so, i expect the same respect in return…and that i’m a seperate person from him, just as i viewed her as someone seperate from matt…and i hope that she views me as me…a person seperate from kyle…and to work through her past stuff with him, not through me…

so, hopefully this works out…i’m really bummed that i’m going to have to wait until january…but ya know…i love this guy…that’s right…i said the "L" word…and i am not going to be scared of it…again, if this doesn’t work out, it wouldn’t be my fault…so that’s all that matters to me…but if he’s not out of there by january, i am totally done…he won’t even be on a list of possibilities until he is out of there…because i’m not going to wait around for something that isn’t going to happen…i’m better than that…