Running

The title is just the song I’m listening to currently…

I just started taking the pill a week ago…I’ve noticed some things…like how it’s been making me more sleepy…but this has helped, because I’ve been getting up in the morning…the actual morning…not noon or later…so I guess it’s good in that respect…

I’ve been working on a summer course…it’s an anthropology course: Archaeology and World Prehistory…it’s interesting I suppose…just a LOT of work…and I have to make up this credit because I had to withdraw from my German course this past school year because of extenuating circumstances…so, I hope I do well…because I need it in order to remain in the performance program at my school…

This past year has been the best and the worst at the same time…I wish I had written everything in here because it would have been interesting to look back on…but I guess it’s good I’ve started up again…this privacy thing works well…I only hope that people I know don’t stumble upon this and figure it all out…but oh well…

I miss Kyle a lot…it’s weird…he drives me up the wall…basically only because of the fact that we can’t be fully together at this point in time…but he says that he has to do this slowly to be sure that he can stay and have a stable place to go to in order to be with me for an extended period of time…even after I stopped having sex with him, he’s acting the same…so I don’t think he’s in it for the sex…we both agree that this will help us to be able to deal with each other, and it would hurt less if it doesn’t work out…but I think we do work out…I always have this fear that it’s all just going to crumble down, however…I have gone beyond my moral line so many times for this man…so hopefully it’s real…but he seems real…it’s just difficult to believe things in this situation…so I guess it will be weird…at least for a while

I seem to have so many opinions that are totally different than how I act…I suppose that I hope that if I say certain things enough, that I’ll actually follow my own advice…I seem to be the biggest hypocrite…but I believe that I won’t be for long…I had to be one for a little while in order to start changing myself I suppose…the only thing I really didn’t like about myself was how I was shy and didn’t speak my mind in certain situations…so I believe that I have changed more in that area…but I think I went beyond and became bitchy for a while because of all the stupid stress going on…which I think caused me to have a not so happy year…but it will be better next year…now that I have time to think and breathe, it will help a lot…