PoeM

Better To Love And Lose. What Does Not Kill, You Gain   

I was involved in romance. Shocking, it must seem.

I used to always think look at them, and look at me.

There was this one guy, not popular among those girls.

I was overjoyed when he “chose” me but to this day, it makes my hair curl.

When I saw him first I was intrigued by his movement and his style.

There’s still much more to say. Don’t move, don’t touch that dial. 

The moment shared was just one first, many others, still in waiting.

This kiss unlocked swirls of colours, emotions I’m still contamplating. 

An  event before had made me vulnerable, my outer shell unguarded.

He tore out my heart, my feelings, my soul. His own heart had pre-hardened. 

Nothing much, to me, was lost when his fist slammed into my chest.

My heart, you see, was already damaged, a pulsating chaos behind my breast. 

“What’s this?” he shrilled, mess in his hands, “what is this bloody goo?”

“It’s my heart,” to him i replied, “before it got to you.” 

“This is useless,” he said cruelly and dashed my insides all around.

He walked, triumphant. In defiance I turned but shivered on the ground. 

I looked and stared through clouded eyes at all my personal gook.

If only he’d turn back and see only if he’d take a look. 

If he sorted through the mess he’d see what it contained.

My few joys, swamped by sadness.All those memories, me, they pained. 

But only if he did this he may have stopped to think

about me, as well as himself, not throw my feelings down the sink. 

Other times, the love was not true or I couldn’t know, but lost.

All this pain building up inside me is not worth the expensive cost.

For the wall of woe built up in me is soon about to crumble.

The bubbles of happiness, just being formed will be lost in all the rubble. 

Some might say, “better to love and lose, what does not kill, you gain.”

I do not agree or believe that shit. Nothing should cause this much pain.