i must be insane…

there’s so many guys that are interested…nice guys…great friends…but i have to fall in love with the one who could damage me the most…cling to the belief that he is good and the things i hear are just petty rumours…but i know that believing every single word of one single person is not something smart to do…although not believing someone jeopardizes your relationship with that person…so, who knows what to do?
i’ve just been trying to let things happen…again, like i’ve repeated often, to just be honest myself, and hope that others are doing the same…although it’s unlikely either will happen…my striving to be so will help me out and make me feel better as a person…some things about myself will always remain hidden…i’m not going to display my entire life from minute to minute to everyone…and there are also those deep dark secrets that one not utter to anyone, even in a type of writing like this *just in case* someone reads it and figures out it’s you…also those events that you’d rather forget as well…
anyways…i just hope and wish and have faith in the fact that there is something special here…although i keep going back and forth on the debate…it’s all i ever seem to talk about in here, but it’s the only place i can really talk about it otherwise the gossip faeries spread the gossip dust and it turns into something ugly…but then i think, is it really ugly? and then my head asplode…

so, i’m trying to keep cool and to not overthink things…to try and not to step on anyone’s toes, but when mine are stepped on i must learn to shout…to learn when to stay out when it’s not my business (this one is tough because i know a lot of information, but i have to select when to say it, or to even say it at all)…and to learn when to keep my business to myself…