another entry overflowing with emo-ness

i want to get ride of my insecurities…find out why i’m feeling this way…where it started…how i can end it…i think that i worry too much…but then what if i don’t worry enough? and i’m just floating through life without any real concern for anything…i don’t want to fall for crap…i wish i could see any crap for a mile away…

i don’t feel like i’m interesting at all…like i’m just a normal desensitized person who’s pre-programmed to feel / say certain things…it’s creepy…like if i’m not reassured of everything over and over i don’t believe it…and it’s crap to do that…i don’t want to be assured all the time…i just want to know…i want a fresh start…they help…i’ve fixed myself up in so many ways…i’m just not satisfied yet…but i guess if i ever become completely satisfied with myself, i don’t think i’d have the will to do anything more in my life at all…i wouldn’t want to live, because everything would be complete…it just sucks striving for something that’s not really achievable…but i’ll still keep going…

i write too much…i have to speak more…someone tell me how to do it…please…