talk about quick results

almost an instant after I wrote my previous entry I talked to my boyfriend on the telephone..

he asked me what I was doing tonight. I told him that after dinner some friend wanted me to go to out to the bars with them. My boyfriend got a little ignorant and said "alright well I guess have a fun night, hook up with a bunch of guys and I’ll just talk to you tomorrow"  I said, " why do you have to say things like that"..my voice got all shakey and I knew I was starting to cry. "he said I’m only kidding!"  things got a little rough and I told him I loved him and I’d talk to him later..

the instant I hung up I began bawling like a baby..I can’t understand it..

I tried calling my mom (I dont really know who else to call) I didn’t get an answer (which I probably a good thing, my mother doesn’t need to know the detailed fights my significant other and I get into)..a few second later my phone rang..it was my boyfriend.

he was calling to apologize. he said he was being a jerk and said he was sorry for making me cry. He asked if I knew he was only joking and that he had been saying the thing about "my other boyfriends" since the beginning of our relationship..he said he promised it won’t happen again and he’d stop saying it if it bothered me..

I said I knew he was joking around but he had just been saying it a lot lately. I said I felt like there was something else on his mind, something he wasn’t telling me.

He said yes, the other night I went out (on a monday after my lab) and I told him I was going home to go to bed. I told him I was sorry I just felt like going out for a beer. I had went to my friend Jenifer’s house, she was having a party and a lot of our friends were there. He told me that he’s normally not the jealous type and he was sorry, he told me that he knew I just turned 21 so he should understand that but it’s just difficult because we’re thousands of miles away.

He told me that trusting is something he has to deal with personally because of his ex. I told him that everytime I go out he’s always on my mind.

I’m glad he called to clear things up. now  I know what’s bothering him. I told him it would definately be better if I had a cell phone, I know my bill is high, and I"m slowly paying it off. but maybe for the mean time I could buy a prepaid cell phone so just me and him could keep in touch because honestly i’m not in my dorm room that much and we havent’ been able to talk that much lately. I don’t know..but I’m very glad he called me..I feel a lot better now we got some things cleared up.