Holly Golightly

I just caught Breakfast at Tiffany’s on tv. I always forget how much I love that movie. Holly Golightly gives me hope. That entire last scene gives me hope. Such a great dialogue and monologue.

"I love you."

"So what?"

And the whole part about being afraid someone is going to put her in a cage but that she she creates her own cage that will follow her no matter how far she runs.

I think I am secretly, or not so secretly,  hoping for my own Paul Varjak. Someone who will call me out on all my hang ups and hold ups and whom I just can’t run away from.

Because truly, as sad and difficult as all my breakups have been, I’ve been able to walk away. If it were that right, I wouldn’t be able to walk away. Would I? Deep down, that truly terrifies me; that the right relationship will come along and I will run away. I have this creeping fear that there is something truly emotionally stunted inside me that will keeping me running regardless.

But Holly gives me hope. I already have a step in the right direction: I have a cat with a name, and I could never toss her out of a cab into the rain.