graduation

I graduated from college on Saturday. That should be so much more exciting than it is. I think the fact that I am going right on to graduate school kind of diminishes the fact that I am done with undergrad. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely relieved to be done with undergrad and Elizabethtown….it’s just that my career as a student isn’t over yet.

I have been so obsessive about my grades for the past…forever. Ever since elementary school. And the last two years my professors have been telling me to relax; that a B instead of an A on a paper doesn’t matter and that once I got into graduate school no one would care about my GPA. And I told myself the same thing…but it didn’t really change my attitude. I am not fond of being a student, thought I love to learn. However, that is what I am best at. And now, in the brief span of the second it took me to accept my diploma…four years of  slaving away for straight A’s means nothing. Somehow it feels like I just wasted four years of my life. I know I didn’t waste those years because now I have  a diploma, an incredible social work knowledge base, and amazing internship and travel experiences to show for it…but…

Oh well. It is a personal motto of mine never to regret anything. If you’ve learned something, then there is nothing to regret and if you don’t think you’ve learned anything then you aren’t observing and analyzing the situation hard enough. So I don’t regret the way I lived the past four years because now I am better prepared to make a difference in the world.

I do, however, feel stagnant and frustrated – waiting for the next stage in life to begin. I have three and a half months until grad school starts and I move to Monmouth. Six and a half months until I leave for Africa. 1 year until I am done with my student career.

I wish I could just sit still and enjoy this summer. Living with a guy I enjoy spending time with. Little to no responsibility working as a waitress.

But I’m itching to get out. I need the next adventure. The next challenge.