The worst part

The worst part about Andy is what he looks like. And I mean that in a kind of backwards way. We look perfect together. That one picture from Reach Out… it just looks so… fulfilled and happy. I mean, it’s almost scary how well we look together. He gets horrible grades… this is good for discouragement on my part. He’s totally immature and, well, I guess this makes him rather rude part of the time. Anything to discourage is good! And he hurt me… several times, I guess, but only one time seriously. I never want to let that happen again, I guess is my point.

Right now I’m going through my November “I can’t bare how much I miss Andy” phase. If this is going to happen every year I might as well shoot myself now. I keep explaining this to people, as well as myself, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I don’t like him like THAT again. No, I just like him as a close friend… even though we’re not always very close. (But somehow that just makes us closer? I think…) I really like how I felt WITH him, though. I like what happened (the good part, that is). I miss being held… I miss a guy holding my hand (yeah ok so I’ve only experienced that once… loser that I am), I miss having an arm around my shoulder, I miss slow dancing… or whatever it is we were doing. I just miss hugs, and really really strong arms. *sigh* Why do I always insist on depressing myself?

I suppose it’s good for me to experience these little “tests of friendship”… *gag*. Did I mention irresponsible and totally oblivious?

Right so I’m looking for a guy with strong arms, and incredible hug (thus the strong arms), who is a Christian, relatively intelligent would be a plus, who is either in band or at least appreciates band, and it wouldn’t hurt to look good as a couple. Maturity is also a must, but I guess I find myself pairing that with intelligence sometimes, although they don’t necessarily go hand in hand… at all. Basically, I want Andy… but smarter and more mature. Make sense? But if you change those things ABOUT Andy, he’s not Andy. But this is good, cause it means I don’t want Andy, you see?

Ahh well, I’ll continue to stare at that absolutely confusing yet happy, very happy, picture…

~swept away~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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