the real world hits me

Well, I guess if I complained about not knowing what’s going on in Meg’s life, I should probably write as well.

This week was insane. I feel like for the first time in two years I’m starting to understand what it’s like to work for this company. It’s just insanity. I’ve got two huge projects at work. Well, I’m not even sure the one qualifies as a “project” – it’s more like I’m taking over this application. Which means I have to transition support to a new team, have to deal with all the tech/infrastructure upgrades, and work with functional partners to try to figure where we’re going. It’s kind of more like 3 projects in one. The other project is just an ambiguous mess. I don’t feel like I know enough about the space, the processes, or the tools to really do what I’m supposed to. And I don’t have time to really dig into any of the above, because I’m dealing with all the shit for this other app.

Aside from my “job” part of my job, I’ve got two extracurriculars on my plate. I really enjoy both (much more than my actual job), but this week kind of became the perfect storm with all of it. I needed to get a newsletter out, I got pulled into this social networking initiative that we had to pitch out to the CIOs yesterday (got pulled in on Monday), all on top of doing my actual job.

I worked 3 nights this week. A lot of people I work with do this all the time. I do not. I am historically very good at leaving work at work. Usually I’ll check my email before going to bed at night, but that’s generally speaking it. But to get through the week I had to do it. Luckily I’m smart enough to have organized it so that I was working on the newsletter and social networking in the evenings – otherwise nothing would get done.

Thursday I left at 4:30, came home, listened to a podcast, then fell asleep for about 15 minutes until Chris got home. I had to get the hell out of work. I was going crazy. People were telling me things to do, and I just didn’t understand. One of the people I work with often tells me things, assuming I know what to do, and then acts very shocked when I inform him that I don’t. It’s annoying. At any rate, I had to leave so that I wouldn’t break down into tears. (Which I do sometimes when I’m stressed… not my best quality.) When I got home I tried to do anything possible to keep from thinking about work. Thinking about work lead to tears welling; not desirable.

Yesterday I was in much better sorts, thank god. But honestly, I cannot go through this every week or I really will get a new job.

(indecision)