thank you Lord, thank you

I’m too happy to just sit here talking. I have to write… I have to. You have to know how awesome God is. There is no way so much joy could possibly be in my heart without His work. I’ve had some awesome weeks this summer. I’ve had some awesome weeks throughout the past 4 years, but this summer has just solidified everything that never quite reached me, or only reached the surface. Have I told you about Kristen and Gretchen? Have I told you about Liz, Kim, Emily, Heather, John? Have I told you about Michelle and Becky and Sarah? Have I told you about Kathy and Rob, John, Steve, Steve? Have I told you how much God cares about each and every one of us? Have I ever told you that he sent all of you to me at one point or another when He knew that I needed you?

Mrs. Strang was sent to me in 8th grade as my mentor for confirmation. She is a very very special adult in my life… someone that is distant, but still very much in my life. Kathy and Gretchen were sent to me during the summer before 9th grade. Kathy was sent to be our new youth leader, Gretchen came with her family – her parents are our pastors. During 9th grade the youth group grew, and I was always at church. Gretchen and John became my best friends… my life. Things kind of broke up over the summer, although I experienced my first YAC, AC, and RO. It was my first summer of Lakeside, and a beginning to my true faith journey.

I really didn’t come to youth group in high school. I lost touch with Gretchen and John – I rarely attended church. I made excuses like the homework load, which weren’t altogether untrue, but nevertheless I could’ve made time. During the summer, however, I went back to YAC and RO, which continued to be peaks in my life. Times when I was happy and on top of the world… times when I was on a high for God. Leaving the gates of Lakeside, however, always made me fall back down. I’d try for a little, then I’d be back at band camp, back to school, and I’d lose it. I’d become the person I was at the beginning of summer. And there were problems.

This summer something happened. I went to YAC as usual, and it wasn’t so powerful in itself. I did, however, spend a lot of time with Kristen. I then stayed through the entire week of AC with Gretchen and her family – something I hadn’t done since freshman year. That’s when God really came into my life. I had plenty of alone time while people were sitting through session, and I used it in a variety of ways. I spent hours in the church sanctuary in Lakeside practicing piano. There’s something very peaceful and freeing in practicing in God’s house – it gave me time for reflection and concentration. At other times I would walk through Lakeside, or go buy a chai and park myself outside the auditorium. I wrote in my diary, reflecting on my journey, reflecting on the coming school year, reflecting on the devotions from CCYM. Lee, one of the people who gave a devotion, made me remember that I never listen. I ask, I thank, but sometimes I just forget to listen. That week was about listening, and asking Him back into my life… back into my heart… and asking Him to give me to strength never to let the Lakeside leave my heart.

During the rest of June I was gone for a variety of reasons. When I was home I would talk to Gretchen and Sloan more than anyone, and I realized that I truly missed them both when I was gone. My last Reach Out proved to be awesome in many ways. I was reunited with John in my mission group. We were able to build up an awesome relationship, perhaps even better than the first time with more maturity. I met an awesome girl named Sarah, and I was able to reunite with two of my best friends from camp: Michelle and Becky. The three of those girls and Gretchen and I bonded the entire week. It was the first time I felt like I had true camp friends, and I have a feeling that at least Michelle and I will talk for a long long time to come. She is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.

The theme for the week was “Who’s got your back?” We discussed how friends, family, and ultimately God have your back, and these types of discussions really gave me insight into my faith and my friendships especially. Friday night Rob drove Kristen and Liz up to see the candlewalks with us… I am so glad they came! Joanne’s candlewalk talked about all of her relationships, and she sang and played Watermark’s “More Than You’ll Ever Know.” John’s candlewalk was all about accepting yourself… and his friends that have his back and have helped him to accept himself. Between those two candlewalks, everything gelled.

I came home knowing that Gretchen, Kristen, and my girls from camp meant the world to me. Since camp Kristen and I have become even closer, and Gretchen and I have maintained out awesome relationship. For awhile I was getting pretty anti-social and sick of the world, but God again answered my needs… he brought Liz, Kim, Steve, Doug, and more into my life. And above all, He allowed Kristen and I to see in each other what we needed.

I can’t tell you how at home I feel in my church. I can’t tell you how much my youth group means to me… when I’m sad, when my cat was sick, when she was put to sleep, when I’m overjoyed, when I’m nervous about playing my recital – they are all there… I am comfortable… I am safe there.

So you see, when I prayed that I would keep God in my heart in college, he sent me a roommate who not only shares all my morals, but who is also a Christian. When I lost my place in my recital and knew I would only find my notes again if God helped me, He put my fingers exactly where they needed to be. When I needed someone in my life to hang on to, he sent me Kristen. When I needed someone in my life to love me and accept me, He sent me Gretchen and Michelle, Liz and Kim, John, Sarah, Becky, Heather… He sent me all of these things because He loves me, and He will bring you all the love in the world, because He loves you too!

This summer, for the first time in my life, I can say that I am in love with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord… I am so blessed.