still crying… too many things

I cried yesterday after exchanging some more emails with my friend and then calling her. We got through some of it though, so I’ll talk about that later.

Tonight I cried for a really stupid reason. I have all of these thoughts, issues, and emotions that I need to sort out and get rid of, if you know what I mean, so I decided that on this lovely evening I wanted to go jogging around the block – just around the block. I hate running. Really I do. I ran yesterday in gym, though, and it actually felt kind of good, and helped me breathe. That’s odd, cause I’m having a lot of asthma trouble right now, and usually running has the opposite effect, but anyway. So I ask my mom if I can go jog around the block at like 8 pm. She said no, it was too dark and dangerous. Ok, at 8 it was nowhere NEAR dark. It was light out, and as for dangerous, I do not live in an inner city. I live by an elementary school, where the most that would happen is I might pass a drug deal. If that happened it would be no biggy, cause no doubt the people doing the dealing are either in my homeroom or I’ve known for years and don’t really give a damn about me, nor I them.

So anyway, she would not let me go, and she went to bed at like 8:15 on a FRIDAY NIGHT! Grrr. You don’t even understand, I have NEVER wanted to run so badly in my entire life. I just needed to do it. I can’t even explain it. It was this incredible urge to just run it all out of my system.

Instead I have to sit here online, because all of my friends are either working or sleeping like my stupid mother, with my lazy fat ass. And I do NOT want to be here at all! GRRRR.

So I cried for awhile. Geez, just, I don’t know…

@~>~>-dreamergrrl