So long, fairwell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye

The next time I write, I will be 5 hours from here… in my new room, in my new home – a college student. The van is packed. Full. No more room for anything. I mean, this thing is FULL! Yeah, there’s nothing left… well there is… but it doesn’t feel like it. Stereo, gone – makeup mirror, gone – reading lamp and desk lamp, gone.

I’m afraid to go to sleep right now, because I know that when I wake up I’ll have to leave. Leave this room, this house, this family, these friends, this city… this bed, this privacy – this life. And I’ll be fine once I’m there – I know I’ll love it and will form a new, maybe a better life. But right now it’s killing me.

It killed me to say goodbye to Gretchen today. And Peter, and Rob, and Peggy, and Mrs. T, and Liz, and Kim, and Heather (again) and Kristen. “My heart hurts” to quote Kim. Kristen – Gretchen – phone calls. Many. Muchos. Viele. I love you two so much. So very very much.

Goodbye for now, though I’ll probably write tomorrow night from my dorm anyway. But it feels like goodbye. Thank the Lord for this diary – I’ll always feel like I’m home when I’m here.