self-pitying, cynical me

Well, Meg was crazy. That made me a little dark. Then I read someone’s diary. Made me a little cynical. Then Ron sent me over the edge with his little “masks” discussion. Now Dustin (not mmm but HHH) has sent me off crying??? And Meg has way more reason to be crying than I… and it wasn’t even a long period of crying. Just tears. Just enough.

Maybe I’m tired.

Maybe I could really use some male emotional support right about now. And I’m not talking about anyone specific, and I’m not crushed because so and so doesn’t like me, or whatever, because really there IS no so and so. I’m just BLAH. I could use a majorly huge hug. I could use a date. I could use a compliment. I could use a fricking kiss. Anything would do right about now.

I could use a walk along the lake, or a just sit and stare on the pier. I could use a walk underneath incredibly bright and vibrant stars. I could use a shoulder to put my head on. I could use a soft song to dance with someone to.

But then I get to thinking about how much I hate people. And poof, that dream vanishes. But see, the thing is… I DON’T hate people. Not at all! I really can’t stand a lot of them, this is true… but some people I just want to be close to. And then that dream of some guy loving me snaps back into place.

Maybe I’ll just go… do nothing.

I’m being

~swept away in datelessness~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

***~***~***~***^~^~^~dreamergrrl~^~^~^***~***~***~***

SlurpeesAreMyDrug

First off, I must say I love your use of the word “blah”, quite good. And don’t worry- there is a guy out there for you somewhere- no need to rush, you have the rest of your life to find “Mr Right”, but let me tell you right now, heh, you won’t find him in highschool 🙂 Stay cheery

hey, take a deep breath. I’ll be thinking of you. Waiting for a star to fall, and a car to stop. Just keep smiling dear. I know it sucks waiting forever. But trust me, and i’m not sure why you should, but you just have to stay happy. It’s the only way to be. Live well

erin brianne

April 14, 2001

You should go find a nice tree, climb it, and sit there. or go to your local park (i dunno if you can do that…i can because i live across the street from mine…), or take a nice long bath with BUBBLES!!!!!!! or ummm…i am running outta ideas…

I am proud to say it was MY diary that made her cynical! Go me!

hehe. why MALE emotional support? I wanted to walk by the lake, but everyone is off so there’s too much of a crowd and I don’t like that. And I should study. Well I have a too small orange shirt. I’m saying this again. Because first I didn’t know what the orange clothing was about. But I knew before you explained it though.

hey there…i hope everything gets better……i TOTALLY understand the male suport…sometimes it is just needed…thats why my best friend in the world in Nathan because he will give me that huge hug, and if i need him to will dance with me, and will do anything for me…you need to find someone like that…even though i know that Seth loves me it is also nice to know Nathan is always there

aww, it’s okay, at least you’re not alone. Every few days I get like that, and then it somehow goes away for a few days, and then it comes back, and then it goes away again….

visibly-meg

Yeah i was crazy.. whoo.. but anyway: I think that one of the things that makes you so wonderful is that you do have self doubt at times and are willing to express it – cause you know, we all do. ANd over come it. And there is someone for you, I’m sure. But when you’re feeling down, remind yourself that if you wanted to settle for just any kiss or any hand – you could. Furtunately, you don’t. Hugs

also.. niether of us had reason to cry – but neither of us needed one either.. You just cry.. and it helps. you know?

we could all use that, and cynicism basically kills it