renewed faith in people

Remember that phrase “I hate people?” Well, I suppose if you read this diary, you couldn’t possibly forget it. I’ll probably never stop using it, because frankly it’s a great phrase. However, I must say that over the past weekend, my attitude is changing, and I’m finding hope within people.

I suppose it started with the opening of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. I’m not sure how or why, but seeing all of the western/Utah heritage brought out this sense of pride to me. Throughout that entire segment, I kept thinking about all of the other countries that were sitting there in peace, watching. All of those countries make up America. Each culture has influenced ours. The United States of America simply would not exist… would not be what it is… without all of those nations. I know it may be a tad ethnocentric, but I couldn’t help but find it somehow perfect that the Olympics were being held here… the place where all of those people blend or influence one another.

I was also very moved by the unity of the crowd and the patriotism. Granted I was a little unsure of the appropriateness of such sentiment during an international celebration, but nevertheless, it made me so proud to see everyone supporting his/her own country. For that matter, it made me proud that the other countries were supported, and that many of them came bearing American flags. What an awesome display of unity, peace, and sympathy.

Last night I went to a Candlerain concert. Aaron’s leaving the band, and it was one of his last concerts. At any rate, I went with Meg, Alex, Gretchen, Liz, Laura, and several under-classmen that I dont’ really know very well. It was really cool, because some of those people are my best friends, and although I was somewhat concerned about what Meg and Alex would learn from each other, I really didn’t care, and I really loved that they got along so well. I feel like they need to know each other, and know why I love them both so much. We also ran into BILL and his girlfriend AMANDA! It was so great… Alex and I scared him so much, and I think he was slightly worried that I’d put his relationship in jeopardy. Nevertheless, it was cool to have combo bonding time outside of combo… not to mention get to know Amanda? I also ran in Jon from my mission group! I had seen him two weeks ago at solo and ensemble, and then again last night?!? I’m so used to see RO people once a year, that I just didn’t know what to do with myself.

I felt so surrounded by my many groups and many lives… felt somewhat vulnerable, actually. I’m a big believer in the theory that no one shows his/herself in entirety to anyone. I believe that while some close friends know almost all sides of me, no one knows all of me… no one has seen all of my sides. Having so many people from my life together would make it possible for each of them to piece me together. This is not neccessarily a bad thing, but it is somewhat of a risk. I think as much as I open myself up to people, I will always have some shield… some guard. Everyone does in some shape. But at the same time, it was wonderful. My combo/band people, my church people, my nerd people, my camp people… almost every part of my life was represented, and it was awesome.

Both Candlerain and Coincidence Maybe performed. Bill and Alex loved Candlerain… it was their first concert (and my ninth). None of us had ever heard Coincidence Maybe, but they were awesome! The lead guitarist/singer had not only a really good voice, but he also is AWESOME on guitar. They also had a bassist (played upright and electric), another guitarist who also played the mandolin, one heck of a drummer (with one heck of a drum set), and a synthesizer guy. It was a little Dave Matthews-ish… and everyone loved them. I definitely bought a CD.

After the concert I got to see Ben. He’s the lead singer for Candlerain, and my personal favorite in the band only because he remembers me, always gives me a hug and talks to me. I really don’t think he knows my name, but that really doesn’t matter. Out of all of the times the whole band has spent with my youth group, Ben is the only one who has ever bother to just… talk to me. I know at this point that sounds totally pathetic, and it also sounds like the rest of the band doesn’t care. Well, maybe I am pathetic, but the guys really do care… they do get to know the outgoing people in youth group. In all reality there are too many of us to know us all. I suppose I’m one of those initially quiet reserved people that don’t neccessarily go out there and hang with them… so for Ben to remember me I think is pretty cool.

Did I just say I’m quiet and reserved? -laughs- Only at first, I assure you. Ok, so I’m reserved, but not all the time. Just, nevermind.

Basically, this weekend has renewed something in me that I thought was long gone. (and I didn’t even mind that it was long gone) People… that’s all we have. Words, music, and people. It all revolves around people. Life is people. Maybe it took representatives from the rest of the world to show me that… maybe it took two incredible concerts with my best friends to show me that… who knows. But I’m happy, and I love the people around me that I can jump with, shop with (heaven forbid I should go shopping in the first place) and just… be with. Maybe if I can just ignore the stupid people… 🙂