people never cease to amaze me

Fuck you Aimee.

I did NOT steal Vanessa’s boyfriend. There was NO stealing involved. The fact of the matter was he’d been considering breaking up with her in the first place. I could’ve done plenty of things to break them up… could’ve stolen him… didn’t. And Jane’s not stealing Alex either. I do not blame her one little bit. If I did, I WOULD be hypocritical. It is not her fault that he likes her anymore than it was my fault that he liked me.

Am I angry? Incredibly so. (actually I’ve found that Rage and Wut is really theraputic) But I’m not mad at Jane. I’m mad at myself. And most of all, I’m mad at Alex, because I can’t even describe how many times and in how many ways he has screwed me over this year. And now he’s not even trying to be friends. That’s what pisses me off. In fact, I don’t even want to be friends with him at this point. Such an asshole. An immature asshole who doesn’t know what he wants at all… ever.

To be honest with you (and I wasn’t going to say this before), of the two of us, I was the one that was trying to hold off getting together because of Vanessa. In all honesty, I was more concerned about her than he was. The fact that he did it again is incredible. I just hope he doesn’t screw Jane over… although it’s hard to imagine he wouldn’t after his track record.

Now, Aimee, it would really be, oh I don’t know, pleasant if you would just let me be miserable without you storming into my diary making cruel statements. I’m pretty sure I’m doing enough crying to cover it without you rubbing everything in. This is why I barely write anymore… why I barely write my true feelings. Because according to you, I don’t even have real feelings. Let me be. Let my diary be at least. This is the only way I have of dealing with life at this point. I don’t know any other way of dealing with this.