one more day of high school… ever (part 2)

continuation from previous entry

Do you know what’s funny? Ever since I have been reaching out to tons of friends, especially past friends, I’ve really remembered why I was friends with Jaimie. My mom never saw that side of her, I don’t think, but she and I are strangely alike in a lot of ways. Sometimes I wonder if I’m some ways because of being so close to her sophomore year, or whether we are just alike. (which would explain why we were so close) We both write excessively in journals, overanalyze, have conservative mothers, have no luck with males, are pessimistic… it’s interesting. You can learn a lot from a Jaimie… you can learn a lot from a Carmen and a Meg too. Ok, so you can learn a lot from everyone in my English class, but we’ll not get into that again.

I really feel like I want to stay in touch with Jaimie, as odd as that seems. There are some people that I realized I will not miss at all today that I feel like I should, and others that I will that I feel like I shouldn’t. Take Nolan, for example. My first boyfriend… obviously someone I was close to at one point, not to mention someone I liked. Today I realized that, well, I really won’t miss him at all. In fact, I really wouldn’t mind if I didn’t see him for several years. Do you think that’s bad? I don’t think it’s bad, but I feel like I should think so. And yet a best friend of the past, a Jaimie, that I really almost hated for awhile after not being friends with her, I know I’ll miss if we don’t at least say a few words every once in awhile.

I can’t wait to get away from Jill… oh, wait, nevermind… she’s following me to college! I am, however, going to miss Bill, Cloe, and Rachel. I am really truly going to miss seeing them everyday. My combo… my support group… people I don’t see that often, don’t hang out with, yet people that know me better than anyone. We’ve lived together… we’ve shared our lives, or at least a few months of our lives. I feel like I’m not worried about not seeing my senior friends, because somehow we’re all in the same position, and somehow we’ll all stay in contact. (or at least those of us who care and want to) But the juniors and sophomores will still be here (poor things) for another year or two, still in the groove of MHS. I’m going to feel distanced from them and their way of life, I think. Strange.

Anyway, my point was, I have one day of high school left, and it’s ridiculous. I remember sitting in the gym of my elementary school, listening to my principal talk about how it was all of our dreams to be 16 and have a license. I remember graduating from sixth grade, sorely crushed that I was neither valedictorian, nor salutatorian. I remember thinking tomorrow would never come. (Not in the broad sense of tomorrow, but rather in the sense that tomorrow is my last day of school.) I still feel like I’m in fourth grade, playing the role of banker for our math class game. (Earning $15,000, I might add, which was about $10,000 more than anyone else with a job in that class.) And the truth is, I’m not in fourth grade, I’m not just a kid anymore. I’m a legal adult… I even voted yesterday. I’m graduating from high school, I’m going off to college, and I’m still just the same me that looked out of these eyes when I was 3 years old. Strange.