one more day in this life

It’s finally hitting me. My stereo is packed up, every CD except for my Avril Lavigne/Watermark one is packed, soap, shampoo, books, diaries, dictionaries, posters, sheets, the world is packed and in my living room.

I had to say goodbye to six more people today: Heather, Matt, Ashish, Steve, Jay, and James. I came home today, and I’m just trying to soak this feeling in. This feeling of being at home and feeling completely comfortable – my sister says this will never feel like home again. I can accept that. I’ll be fine after the change – it’s the before that kills.

I don’t want to say goodbye to Kristen tomorrow. It’s going to kill. I don’t want to say goodbye to the Streiffs. I don’t know when I’m going to get a chance to see them, but I have to. There are so many people I’m just not going to get the chance to say goodbye to… I don’t even know what to do with myself.

I have to finish packing tomorrow. All of my clothes, my jewelry, my alarm clock, my reading lamp, the last pairs of shoes, the jackets, the coats… the detergent… all of it has to be packed tomorrow. Loaded. We leave at 6:30am Friday morning. In less than 48 hours I’ll be in college. Kristen come with me. Gretchen come with me. Michelle come with me. I love you so much… I love all of you so much. My nerdlings, my saxy ones, my sisters and brothers, my twins, my best friends, my fellow diarists – I will miss you all.

You know where to find me though. I’ll always be here. I’ll always have the email, the AIM… I’ll be here. But the hugs… they’ll be hard to come by.

So this it is.