once and for all… my email to him

My email to Andy:

I hope this email sounds right the first time I type it, because I do not intend to revise it and/or not send it. (or just scratch that because I just deleted an entire line already)

*bites lip* I think I’m mixing up my want for a boyfriend and my past of having liked you. Not to say some of me doesn’t still like you, but I’m saying that I think that we need to leave things as friends. I’m practically shooting myself as I say this, but it’s what I want to say, and what I need to say, and what I should’ve said earlier but didn’t know how to say. I love feeling like I’m special to someone or that I’m not invisible or whatever you prefer to call it… but I want something else… I want something that I don’t think you and I could ever have in a million years, no matter how great of friends we have been, still are, or ever will be. Some of the time it seems like all we have is this strange attraction… and that’s just not enough.

If you need to know more I could expand, but I’d rather leave it at this in order to not hurt you or myself… because honestly I can’t stand writing this, and I can’t stand having to think about this, and I can’t stand the fact I’m chopping off any chance of a relationship. But at the same time I need to. And I’m relieved that I am.

So, with that, Andy, I’ll leave you to the rest of your day. I wrote this as sincerely as I possibly could… ::hug::

@~>~>-Erin

The end of the Andy saga? The world may never know… (but you will)

I’m being

~swept away in sleep~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

***~***~***~***^~^~^~dreamergrrl~^~^~^***~***~***~***

I think that’s very brave of you, and I’m glad you’ve made up your mind (for now). I’m glad you think you know what you want, or atleast what you don’t want. So yay erin! For a brave girl on the grazing fields of man-searching! (don’t ask me what ANY of that means, I’m real tired)

Yes, not only am I a Matrix fan (you know that there are 2 more movies due to come out, don’t you? *YAY*)…. I loved You’ve Got Mail.

I love Christian music (btw, I’ve never heard of Candlerain — what kind of Christian music are they?) and I adore jazz. I’d write more, but it’s getting very late (past 1AM now), and I have some severely head-over-heels for some-one-very-special writing to do. Thanks for the notes!!

I wish I was as brave as you…I can think of a bunch of people I would email and give a piece of my mind…anyway, kudos for the courage 🙂

Try to make it simple. And I’m sorry, but “je pas” doesn’t mean anything.

uh oh…oh my…well, um, i hope everything turns out the way you want it to. i mean, really want it to. not just kind of want it to.