oh, the days of volunteer 3 hour summer band

Hi, sweating? Yuck… marching… just on the heels… OUCH!

So I emailed Andy. Again. This time saying, well… read it for yourself:

I do not hate you. Please do not think that I do. Am I angry with you? Yes. Do I have a right to be? Well, I obviously think I do… but we won’t get into that.

Look, I feel bad that we have this difference of feelings right now. The truth is, had you been even close to serious about me in January, I probably would have been quite serious in return. But the problem is, it’s not January anymore. In fact, I do believe this is the first time since we met 2 years ago that I haven’t liked you in that way even a little bit… so please don’t be angry that I was leading you on, because at the time, I wasn’t.

*sigh* I really don’t know where to go with this email.

I don’t think I could live with myself if I just ended a 2 year friendship in one day. I don’t think it’s fair, and I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. We’ve been through a lot… there have been a lot of hugs, a lot of tears, a lot of rolling of the eyes ;P, and most of it has been at Lakeside. I don’t think about Lakeside or Candlerain or Cedar Point, for that matter, without at least one memory of you popping into my head. And maybe those are all stupid reasons to stay friends, and maybe our friendship won’t be quite the same that it’s always been, but I’m not going to throw it away. It’s just going to have to change a little.

@~>~>-Erin

I just read a forward, and as much as I DETEST forwards, it was ironic that I should read this one just after that email. Here are a few choice, relevant, points:

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Don’t cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.

If love isn’t a game, why are there so many players?

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

Actions speak louder than words.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.

Don’t let the past hold you back, you’re missing the good stuff.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP “NEVER” ENDS. Friends are FOREVER.

What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

Most people walk in and out of you life, only friends leave footprints in your heart.

Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes and to the people whose lives you want to be in!!!

Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

Aiye… what a thing for me to read. Makes me feel somewhat guilty, but I do think it’s right for me to continue to be friends with him. Even if it will be a limited friendship. You know? Yeah… hmm.

OH MY GOODNESS… are you SEEING this? AIM (the newest beta version) is NOT letting me use html within im boxes! GRR… I can’t even believe this. AHH! The shame of it all… the dumbing down of instant messaging. *shakes head in disgust*

I suppose you think I’ve been dead, huh? I tell you, this is crazy. It’s finally summer, and do I write the 5 entries a day? No. Do I come close to my usual school year 3? NOT EVEN! I seem to be writing every other day. How COMPLETELY crazy is that? It really isn’t my fault last night, though… my sister’s friend Matt was spending the night down here, so no access to a computer for dreamergrrl. Ahh well. In a few weeks, I won’t have ANY access to a computer… for like 2 weeks or something equally insane. *sigh* Will I EVER get to 500? Let’s hope so. I have a few things planned for that, I think. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get them done, but I really think I should try. 500 – that’s a lot. *nods head*

Anyway, I’m being

~swept away in summer band~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

***~***~***~***^~^~^~dreamergrrl~^~^~^***~***~***~***