my dream… and the dream of someone else

I came online for the sole purpose of writing in my diary, and got sidetracked by READING your diaries instead! Lol… but I remember my goal.

Yet another dream from the dreamergrrl… care to

******enter dreamland******

The saxy saxes were at Andy’s house… I think Alex was there too (and my mom was there????). We were planning to spend the night, and Andy was giving our sleeping arrangement options. Then my mom chimed in… “what if you all just slept down here…” And I’m thinking, did my mother just say that? Well, there was this huge wrap around couch that was green (like the one at Olive Garden) last night, but the black couch (supposedly upstairs somewhere) would be more comfy. At any rate, we abandoned discussing that.

Andy said something to me, and kind of approached me as he would if he were poking at my dimples, in a slightly flirtatious manner. And then somehow I ended up hugging him… but not in the hugging way, but in the slow dancing way that we always… well dance. And meanwhile there were the rest sitting on the couch (though I have no clue who was actually there… and how many… but I DO know that my mother was sort of lounging on the floor watching us??) And then eventually I was sort of half lying down on the couch with Andy’s arm around me… I remember wondering how it was that my email to him had been forgotten or just ignored, and also not wanting to know what my mother was thinking of all of this. It was all just basically like that for the rest of the dream… Andy and I pretty much being a couple.

Then I was talking with my sister… she was like, well you told him you’d changed your mind, remember? Um, did I?????? (I didn’t remember EVER doing that at all) And we talked about it for awhile, and I THINK what happened was somehow my sister was talking to him online with my screen name, and had said something like that. And then either SHE called him as me, or I called him and had some sort of amnesia or multiple-personalities or SOMETHING so didn’t remember. At any rate, over the phone I guess I’d said (or she’d said) that I loved him?? I flipped… I told my sister that I DON’T love him, though. And she said, well yes but you like him more than anyone else right now, and that’s apparently what I meant. Isn’t that confusing? It really confused me. But I was happy… because Andy was being so sweet… and… aww…

******exit dreamland******

And so I wake up. Of course pondering the dream, yet again. Remember the muffin dream? Where at the end Andy and I ended up walking across a football field towards some sort of party holding hands? Do we SEE how that sort of came true? That whole prom thing… right. Are we SEEING how I’m messed up now after this dream? So I’m lying in bed, completely wanting to be held, because it felt so real and so good in the dream. I realized my parents were still home and didn’t want to talk to them, so I stayed in bed listening to the radio via headphones. I was listening for awhile, and then they played this song which they said had “been popular among all those kids for the prom”. Then they had an ad for Cedar Point. And then within the first five words of the next ad, they mentioned the name of the city where Andy lives. The rest was just songs and whatnot, but HI… do I believe in signs? Not sure…

I remember something Meg Ryan (the actress) said in You’ve Got Mail when what’s his face asked her if there was someone else. She sighed and said “No. But… there is the dream of someone else.” So this makes me think… Andy is like that… the person that I want to date, while still dreaming of someone else. And finding hints of that someone else online… I swear my life parallels that movie. That whole Pride and Prejudice obsession… that whole bookstore thing… that whole living online and being completely infatuated with emails thing… *sigh*

And so, I’ll leave you for now, and go off to ponder what I’m going to do. What I want. (It occurred to me, during all of these thoughts, that it’s quite possible I will never be held again until college. I mean, my sister? Hi? And it occurred to me, that I don’t think I want to wait that long. But still… that dream…)

I’m being quite

~swept away in different levels of dreams~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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