me crying at work: part 841

We are perfectly aware by now that I cry. A lot. I cry a lot at work even. But… I haven’t cried in a few weeks. Things have been good. I felt like I was making progress on the feedback I’d gotten so far. And then… bam. 1×1 with some surprise (and, what seemed to me like, unfair) feedback. Cue tears.

Let’s back up. Over a week ago, I schedule a hair appointment for this morning. At the time I had zero meetings booked, and was considering just taking the whole damned day off. A few things popped up on my calendar for the afternoon, though, so I planned on a half day. As planned, I got my hair done this morning, and was in the office in time for my 1×1. Which ended up being over google hangouts rather than in person, because bossman was working from home. Ok… if I’d know that I might’ve even just WFH after my appointment, but sure. I jump on a hangout sesh with him, and that’s when it all came crumbling down.

Here’s the shit part. I’m supposed to go lifting with one of my coworkers… and all I really wanna do with my puffy face and red eyes is go the fuck home. So do I “let” this ruin my whole day, including doing the thing that usually makes me less depressed, or do I recognize that “letting” is not even a thing I have control over and just go home and be ok with it?

I’ve got 7 more minutes in this conference room before a meeting kicks me out. What do I even do.