letter to Alex (not to be sent)

Wrote this throughout the day in school. It is my therapy for staying away from depression. It is my way of not breaking down, of not being weak, of getting over him. Because he is not worth 5 more seconds of liking.

I tried to be understanding, I tried to see how this was me a month ago, I tried to make myself agree – it was mutual. But you know what? I am pissed.

I hate that you have screwed me over time after time this year. At first I almost believed that I wanted to be best friends again, but I really don’t think I want to have anything to do with you. Not that you’re even talking to me enough to give friendship a chance. You are selfish, immature, and you have no idea what you want. You have no concept of a relationship.

Do you even remember that feeling in Nashville? Do you even remember knowing we’d be together until I left? And crying because we would have to part? I HATE that we had a month when you gave Vanessa a chance for six. You have issues. You have major issues.

By the way… I’m killing Bob. He should’ve been dead long ago. But he’ll actually be DEAD this time. Say goodbye.

I questioned every single moral I posses because of you. Morals I never intended to question… issues I didn’t ever have to deal with. Do you have any concept of how much I gave up and was considering giving up to you? You will never understand; you will never care.