July reflections

I apologize for my absence, although I’m sure anyone could have predicted it. My diary-writing always has gone in cycles, hasn’t it?

In the beginning of July I had a week-long trip to Philly, where I was essentially running orientatino for some new people at work. That Saturday I flew back home, where I was greeted in the airport by Chris, Drew, and Al. We then proceeded to drive for 3 hours to a party where a ton of friends from college were supposed to be, rather than driving the 45 minutes home. Needless to say I was exhausted from the trip, and 3 more hours of driving was not really what I needed. (especially after having gotten almost no sleep and no chance to shower) But I digress.

What I really wanted to talk to you about is where Chris and I are in our lives and compare it to where all of our friends seem to be, because I’m not quite sure how to handle it. Let’s start with the party. The friend who was hosting it is working in some sort of factory at the moment (and good for him, because for a long time after he dropped out of college he didn’t really have a job; just played online poker to pay the rent) and invited some of his friends from work. Said friends included at least 2 girls who were under the age of 20, working at this factory, and were both single mothers.

Ok, before anyone out there gets offended I want you to examine a couple factors. I know I don’t really know these girls or what their story is; but I do know that instead of being at home with their babies on this Saturday night they were at someone’s house hanging out with some shady & much older men, drinking, and being ridiculously annoying. I believe one of them had told her parents she was going out for a walk… and then just left (leaving her baby with her parents to take care of). So we’ve got these underage, not so bright, irresponsible, annoying as hell girls at this party. I don’t get along with most women to begin with, but jesus they were ridiculous.

Next we have my own friends from college. Most of us were downstairs playing beer pong, drinking, hanging out. People start to go upstairs, and eventually we follow. I walk into the kitchen, and notice our 3 groomsmen sitting around the table with this other guy doing… something. I didn’t know what it was. But Chris said, we probably don’t want to be in here. I took this to mean some sort of drugs (yeah I’m pretty sheltered), so promptly turned around and walked outside. I asked Chris to explain what exactly they were doing… he said it was some sort of seed they were eating. I asked if it was illegal – he said probably not, but no one seemed to be sure. Regardless, that was the last thing I expected to have happen at this party. In college yeah maybe, but now? Are you serious??? We’re fucking adults – professionals even! Isn’t it kind of pathetic that they’re sitting around eating flower seeds to get a high? I mean come on… your best friends are around you and you decide to experiment with some weird-ass seed???

To top that off the guy who introduced Chris and I (whose friend was providing said seeds) kept trying to like hide it from me and act like nothing was happening. Ok first of all yes, you’re right, I don’t want to be around it. But jesus I’m not an idiot. And saying things under your breath like “I’m sick of trying to hide this” pretty much just makes me feel like crap. Yep, I’m a pain in your ass. I haven’t seen you in a year, but you know what, go ahead and eat your fucking seeds – I’ll just go away so that you don’t have to be around me and don’t have to be all “covert.” Nevermind that everyone I actually like is in this room hanging out – I’ll just go outside by myself. FUCK YOU.

Where I come from these days a party means alcohol (and yes plenty of it) and just hanging out having a good time. You don’t do shit like that. And then there’s my one friend, who was upset that it wasn’t something more hardcore. This kid thinks he’d like to try LSD or some other weird shit. Does he not realize that most companies to a random drug screening? Does he not realize that were he to get caught with something like that he could pretty much kiss his job goodbye? I told him I thought he was an idiot; and he pretty much said he’d be careful, and would never do it alone. He’d have someone around to make sure it went ok. Seriously??? I asked him if he knew about the violent side effects of a lot of drugs (sometimes having someone there with you is not such a good idea). He didn’t. So this kid – this professional – with the good job and pretty good life ahead of him – decides on a whim that he wants to experiment with recreational drugs and would have (had they been around) not having any idea about the possible effects. What the fuck?

Then there’s the other one. The best man. Seeming pretty distant lately. He’s decided to start sleeping with his housemate, who also happens to work where he works. Sounds like a brilliant plan right? Yeah, well he’s 23, she’s 30. Normally not a problem. But seriously she looks like she’s 40, and pretty much acts like it too. Oldest fucking 30 I’ve ever met. AND annoying as hell. She’s kind of on the redneck side, is loud, obnoxious, and is fucking our best man. I really have no idea what’s going on in his head. He actually likes her too. That’s the worst part. She cooks for him, pretty much mothers him, and is also fucking him. It seems kind of creepy to me, to be honest. And no matter what happens, she will never fit in with our little group of 4 – ever. There are women out there who I could at least tolerate who could mesh with our group – this is NOT one of those women. So what ends up happening is he’s always with her and her old-ass friends meanwhile kind of ditching us in the process. The only reason we’ve seen him in the past 3 weeks is because we bought a Wii that he likes to play. I don’t want to feel like I have to buy his friendship – we used to be really close.

Oh, and she is NOT coming to my wedding. No way in hell is she sitting at my head table. NOT HAPPENING.

So anyway all of these types of things have been going on. Today Chris said to me that he has a feeling our lifestyle is going to just kind of “outgrow” our friends more often than not. I think he’s right, as much as I hate to say it. I’ve always kind of gone through friends with relative frequency (go ahead Meg, I know you’re laughing…), but I honestly thought with our group of college friends it would be different – that we would all be best friends for life. Right now, though, I’m not seeing it. Thank god Chris and I are on the same page.

Ok now you may all leave me vicious notes about how I have no right to judge and how I’m an elitest. Don’t worry, I know…

(indecision)