I suppose I should expand on that or something

To clarify, I broke up with him. Not the other way around, nor was it a mutual agreement. It was me, stabbing him.

I’d been thinking over it for the past few days… sorting through what I want… sorting through how I feel about him. Somewhere along the line, my liking for him has dwindled, or rather changed. It became less of a love-liking and more of a great friendship liking. It became frustration from miscommunication and misunderstanding… or rather just all-out not understanding each other at times. We’re different, but that was always a strength of our relationship. In fact, we were great for each other… I firmly believe that. But I felt like it was time to move on.

Perhaps it’s that I don’t like him as more than a friend anymore. Perhaps it’s lack of understanding. Maybe our differences were becoming too much. I think he was more serious than I was… and becoming more serious, as I was losing the seriousness. Maybe I just need to be single right now. But it was time.

We’ve agreed to keep talking and keep the friendship alive. I couldn’t bear the thought of not speaking, never hanging out, never reading each other’s writing. After all, it’s not that I don’t like him… it’s just I don’t want to date him at this point. It’ll be weird for awhile. He looked really hurt today, and understandably so. I just worried about him all day.

Good Lord the day was full of reminders. In a normal situation, nothing like this would’ve occurred. The ironies were just too strong. I was sitting in English class, listening to Anna give her book talk on Danny Boy, and she remarked that “… the family, the Nolan’s…” Geez. Ok. Then during band, a guy walks in with a pass for someone. Mr. H reads out, “Nolan (ins last name)”. Good Lord. After school Meg was driving me to her house, and we passed a street. She said, “Oh I should’ve taken Nowlen…” (the name of the street) Two hours later, while Meg was driving me home, we were on my street, and saw a car stopped at the stop sign of the street going into mine. The car actually looked like Nolan’s, but there are tons of people with cars like his. John and Anthony for example. So I looked to see who it was as we passed… it WAS Nolan! What in the world is going on today? I don’t even know why he’d be near my street!

Yes… reminders… all day. But overall, a good decision. I’m happy… I will be happy.

I don’t really feel like writing a lot about it at this point… so I’ll leave it at that.