I can’t stand this anymore.

People, in a nutshell, make me ill. Hypocritical. TOTALLY. You know, I find it odd that some people put up with having to watch people make out. And I find it odd that some people even try to make out with other people present. I find it odd that the same people who once chastised me are doing… well… not what I was doing. Because I’ve NEVER EVER made out with Nolan in front of anyone. EVER.

Second, what is with people inviting people to parties? I mean, when it’s not THEIR FUCKING PARTY? And what is with people leaving early? I’m seriously starting to see a trend here. Come to my caroling party, try to bring someone I don’t have room for, you didn’t ask to bring, and I didn’t invite, then leave before it’s over. Ok. Fine, it’s only a caroling party, not a big deal. Go to Becky’s 18th birthday party, bring two uninvited people without even asking Becky, leave an hour and a half early, and don’t even give Becky a card. This is a little bit harder to comprehend/understand. It was her BIRTHDAY PARTY! You know, why do you feel the need to go off with half the party and watch a movie somewhere else? What’s wrong with saving time for something you were invited to. Could’ve watched a damned movie there. That ticks me off. And you know what? Nolan wasn’t invited, and I knew he wasn’t. In fact, I sat there as Becky made up the list and I said it was ok for her not to invite him, because I can live without my boyfriend. I am a person without him, and damnit I have fun without him. WHY, then, do other people find it so fucking hard to go to a party without their NOT EVEN boyfriend? HUH? Or fine, you wanted him there. Fine, I understand that. The least you could have done was ask Becky, or warn her.

Don’t any of you ever accuse me of being too attached to Nolan or to have changed. Because I haven’t fucking ever changed. I’m still VERY MUCH the person I was 6 months ago. There’s one difference… I’ve matured. I’m not saying I’m more mature than anyone, I’m not saying I’m the end-all be-all in maturity. I know I’m not. All I’m saying is the PERSON I am, my personality, my morals… all of it… it’s the same. I’m still me. Don’t start crying about wanting your sister mary back, because she’s fucking still here. Go find yourselves.

hey girl. I think ya need to chill about the whole party thing. They probley forgot to ask Becky..or whatever. Maybe they asked Becky and ya don’t know. Maybe Becky said it was okay and ya don’t know. Shit…I don’t think I would be that pissed unless it was some nasty people. WELL>>Sorry. NOT TRYIN TO BE MEAN OR ANYTHING> MANDIE..

visibly-meg

i love you klaymz.

Umm… I really dont know what to even say, but I feel that I need to say aomething. Before I even start, I am going to say that I love you… dont take any of it wrong. I know that I will never “find myself”, that is the way I am… I dont know. Also, you HAVE changed… a lot… I think. What happened to the Erin that was always caring and loving and helpful? You’re so different now…

You seem so differnt. It seems like you’re never there… I feel like I can’t even tell you anything anymore, and there are so many things that I want to talk to you about… you’re not the same… we’ve grown so far apart… I don’t know. I still love you, and I will always love you… no matter what. Well, as for the Nolan situation… you know that you wanted him there… you’d rather spend.

… your time with him than with anyone else. You know that you were wishing that ne could have been there… What happened to the Erin who thought that friends were the most important thing? You used to always want to spend time with us… you ARE so different… I feel like you don’t even care about me anymore… I don’t know… it just seems like you’re not there for me or anything…

Anyways… I do feel bad for leaving Becky’s, but I did get her a present and watch her open it… I stayed for cake and everything… what more was there to do? I wasn’t the one who invited the boys… I could have lived without them too… I just don’t think that it was anything too horrible… not deserving of all this yelling… I am sorry for all that I said and did… I love you, Emma

erin brianne

December 30, 2001

ugh i hate that. i have nevermade out in fron tof anyone. not with anyone in the room or on the same floor of the building for that matter. and inviting people to others parties is lame. aaron invited his girl to melissa’s party…that’s rude. people make me sick. ugh!

i think i agree with emma in the sense that i feel that i should respond. i feel that its all my fault, that i should be held responsible for something but really, i didnt even want to go to beckys in the 1st place, but i figured, hey, shes my friend so ill go. and i went. and ill admit i wasnt having a great time. nor did i at your party (no offense or anything) but some people leave

for the “right reason”…if there is a right reason. wait, no, there is. if youre not having fun, why stay? why not go somewhere where you’ll have fun…isnt that the point of a party? i mean, y eah, dont get me wrong…i didnt have fun at kims either, but at least i made an effort there too. i love becky dearly. and i appoligized profusely. and i know you dont make out with nolan in front

everyone like some people *coughemmaandnickcough* but see, thats the difference in maturity. knowing when enoughs enough. and i thought that kim bringing matt and nick to the party with out beckys consent was a little over the line…no wait, VERY over the line. but there was nothing any of us could have done to stop it. i mean, think of your *pre nolan* days…when you liked a guy, the

only thing you wanted to do with them is spend time with them, right? thats all shes doing. she just trying to get with matt. you cant blame a girl for trying, can you? as for me, i feel bad that i am being categorized in this entry as “people” and that i make you sick. sorry. but i did all i could at both partys. one invisible person isnt usually missed much, are they? and im not a couple

(not that that has anything to do with anything) but two people missing is more than one…and a whole half of a party is more than one too…but…i dont know where im going with this. im lost…im confused. im hurt, im sorry. i’m

Erin, You so are not even the same person you were 6 months ago so dont even start with that again. So what if I invited Nick and Matt to Becky’s I didnt even want to go in the first place but I brought them and there was no problem. No one was compalning about it but you. And it seems latley that it is always you bitching about stuff. Im sorry I brought Matt to your house for a whole

10 minutes I didnt even want to go back because I was having a horrable time in the first place. Geez Klayms I had so much fun with you shopping that one day and I thought you and I were going to be better and things would be the same after that but hey I guess not. We all know you can do things with out Nolen thats not the point is the point is that anyone has to make a 2 month reservation with

with you just to do anything. So what if I bring Matt things I like him and I all ready am not getting positive feed back from Emma and Aimee and now you. I thought you out of all people would understand and maybe sympathize with me but I guess not. Well have a happy New Year love Kim.

is the end of our friendship then so be it because I have Aimee to deal with hating me now and frankly I really dont need you hating me too so. But I dont care what you say you are not the same person you were 6 months ago and EVERYONE have noticed it. Im sorry I am being so harsh but there is SO much I could say but for now I think this is enough. But Im not sorry for what I have said. I didnt

want senior year and our friendship to go down like this but you in some way are forcing me to say and do this so enjoy reading this and Im sure Ill hear from you via e mail or something. See you in school.

Jeezy that’s a lot of notes you got there, sister. I’m going to refrain from saying too much, since I’m betting you have your mind tied up with people that are a little closer to home 🙂