hurt… mother-in-law woes begin

My future mother-in-law… I’ve known her almost as long as I’ve known Chris. We’ve always gotten along, but never had much in common. There’s kind of a big culture gap, generational gap, belief gap, etc. etc. etc. Chris has always been distant with his parents since before we first met, so we don’t see them terribly often despite the fact they only live 45 minutes away. When we do see them it’s usually awkward – Chris usually says nothing while I try to make small-talk.

I came to accept a long time ago that we’d never be terribly close, but that I could also have much worse for a mother-in-law. So we’ve continued down the path of rarely see or talk to, but always go when we’re invited (if there’s advance notice – we don’t do this “tomorrow” stuff)and make sure we’re around for holidays. We always get lectured for not calling more, but then again they never really call us either, and we firmly believe it’s a two-way street. I used to encourage Chris to stay in touch – tried to be the positive force in the family glue.

My mom and sister are planning my wedding shower – it’s in two weeks in my hometown. They sent out invitations well over a month ago, with an rsvp date of late August / early September. My mother-in-law? No response. My mom leaves several phone messages. Chris leaves several messages online. Finally she calls my mom back and makes up some excuse about being busy right now and possibly having to mow some peoples’ lawns.

Ok back up. Chris’ parents are not well-off at all. Admittedly his mom does (once in awhile) do some odd ends to make some extra money, but it’s by no means regular or planned out far in advance. Also Chris’ brother is going through a rough time, and his parents have had to deal with that. To make matters worse, his mother doesn’t really drive. She’ll drive around her town every once in awhile a little bit, but to my knowledge never drives on the freeway. My hometown is about a 3.5 hour drive from where they live.

Clearly there are some obstacles to her getting to my shower. Transportation, money for gas, etc. So in some ways I’ve tried to be somewhat understanding. Here’s the catch though – not ONCE did she try an alternate path. She could’ve called Chris and said “hey would it be possible to drive me up there?” But nothing. I’m a little bitter about this – can’t help it. It’s my fucking wedding shower and she’s going to be my mother-in-law… she could have at least tried. I’m not asking for a gift, just asking her to try to be there.

Today she emailed us asking something. I emailed the answer back, and told her we’d like to take her out shopping for her mother-of-the-groom dress some weekend soon and to let me know what might be available. She emailed me back saying that “October 6 looks free.” MY FUCKING WEDDING SHOWER IS OCTOBER 6. Do you have ANY idea how pissed off I am? At least if you’re going to blow me off have the fucking class and common sense to not tell me you’re AVAILABLE on the day of my WEDDING SHOWER that you already SAID YOU COULDN’T MAKE.

Chris is happy that I’m now on the same page with him. I’m just pissed off and, quite frankly, hurt. I sent a pretty short email back saying “As my wedding shower is October 6 that obviously doesnt work…” I think Chris might call her this week and let her know how angry he personally is that she’s not supporting me.

Top three signs Erin’s angry:
1. She logs onto OD to vent
2. She logs onto OD to vent
3. She logs onto OD at 1:50am on a Sunday night before work to vent

(indecision)