checking in

I’ve been absent for a couple of weeks, haven’t I?

I pretty much hate my job at the moment, to the point where I literally am struggling to do my actual job when I’m at work. It’s actually pretty horrible… I’m getting paid to do this job, shouldn’t that be motivation enough? And the respect of others around me?

But I hate it. I’ve discovered that motivation for me has nothing to do with money or keeping your job (although without both I’d pretty much be fucked)… I have to really like what I’m doing and actually give a damn about the project in order to make any headway. I really think I have a ton to offer and would work my ass off given the right job, but for some reason I’m really struggling to harness that at the moment.

I’m not depressed about life, but I think I’m starting to become depressed with work. I still love all the “extras” I do at work – the newsletter, all of the social networking projects, recruiting, etc. But I’m really really struggling here with what I’m actually rated on.

I’m terrified of my inability to get shit done right now.

(indecision)