december on a post-it

i pointed out my house to you
i washed out teacups in the sink
well-orchestrated answering machine messages
someday i will have the greatest airport goodbye yet
i watched the bird migrations, towards the south.
a bloody nose, women in half slips sipping sherry and pills
boy smells, bruises, semi-dirty hair
sewing popcorn and fresh cranberries with a threading needle around our tree; our tree that is flooding with packages wrapped in embossed paper, our tree that was naked; now peppered with colored bulbs reflecting light-
things that made me happy.
1. my russian princess coat that smells like rabbit
2. red lipstick, biting my peeling lips
3. how the chef talked about his lover with starry eyes.
4. beautiful men in brown suede coats at the bar
5. the lost and found bin full of glasses and scarves
6. i weighed myself this morning
7. rice crispy treat, kiwi and avocado
8. taking pictures of my neck
9. amelie and red wine. maria’s home-made wine made from the grapes outside.
10. surrounding myself with beautiful images when i am sad
11. waking my mother at night to tell her i love her.
12. napoleon’s noise
13. being the eye in a chaos
14. lip syching in the car over black ice
15. this outfit shows a hint of my ample cleavage.
16. clearer skin means much less makeup.
17. women with names like millie and luanne reading menus with a spyglass.
18. not being able to sleep without touching him, even when i am mad.
19. driving on an unlit highway at 5 AM.
20. steaming myself a thermos full of chai.
21. cutting you papaya
22. my new moccasins
23. my new pink cardigan with a black poodle on my breast.
things that didn’t.
1. breaking my sweatpants string
2. running out of wine
3. i weighed myself this morning
4. feeling fucked up energy
5. pornography
6. wet laundry
7. my incessant worthless talking; your incessant worthless silence
8. feeling like a nuisance, feeling painted
9. the knots everywhere inside me
10. supression of giving, recieving, and love/sex
11. feeling parts of my body filled with a stagnant blocked energy
12. giving myself reiki in the shower.
13. doing things wrong, doing things right, always doing something.
14. baths

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