Overwhelmed

I guess I’m a little jealous of women in their first pregnancy because really I’ve done this before and I didn’t really like it or know what to expect and now I do know what to expect and I doubly don’t like it. And I have been sick feeling for at least four weeks straight out of the eight and it’s getting really old. I was super short with my last block because I thought maybe I would puke while talking with them and I had to lay down. I’m glad I’m working from home. No point in telling this particular group of kids or the next because it won’t affect them and I have like two more days with them anyway.

I am sad that I’m missing out on things with Atlas because I feel sick and that he is going to be sad when I can’t do things with him when there’s a new baby. I’m sad that he will think I don’t want to be with him or have time for him. Mostly I’m just sad and uncomfortable. I know it should get better. I know I should be happier. I have my first appointment today but really it’s just been hard.

That’s all.