It’s on me

Aside from the fact we are not going to Idaho due to my husband finding it inconvenient to move, (which is a temporary inconvenience to solve a long term issue) there are other things wrong with where we live.

And Dustin hates his job. I got a virtual teaching job so I can bring in money and some days I still have to help with the kids and we do not have childcare secured yet and I’m still forced to deal with the baby because she won’t accept other people or the bottle. So it’s like I am a stay at home mom who also works at the same time and it’s absolutely maddening.

This house is extremely small and we cannot fit all our stuff in it and Dustin talks about how messy it is constantly.

Thanksgiving travel with a baby and toddler was a nightmare since the baby doesn’t like the car seat. So glad it is expected for me to do the traveling when my kids are so little. No one cares. But I am not coming home for Christmas now. My mother just feeds feral cats, let’s them in my childhood home and they pee everywhere. So that beautiful house I grew up in and loved just smells like cat pee and dementia. My dad doesn’t know a lot of what’s going on and I hardly talk to him because I don’t know what to say. He’s not really my dad anymore. Just a shell.

It’s not easy.

And I mostly hate everything.