Take what you want… If you can

 What do you do when you meet someone you think you could totally be yourself with? You still aren’t over your ex, but everything about this girl makes you smile? Yes I know it’s just another entry about another girl. But I’m sorry. I recently had someone new move in next door to my old apartment. She’s a year younger then me, and she went to my school. We were sorta friends in high school, but nothing ever came of it. We talked alot one night after he moved in. And we continue to talk from time to time. I find myself begging some higher power to give me a sign that she likes me. She likes alot of my Facebook things now, and she favorites a ton of my stuff on twitter. Part of me probably just likes her because she gives me the time of day enough to talk to me. But the other half of me is in misery because I really have no idea. She is so damn pretty it kills me. I play scenarios in my head where she knocks on my door just to come hang out, or hell even cuddle up on my couch. It there is anything I miss about a relationship. It’s holding someone while you share a blanket, and each others warmth. 

Fuck my life though because I’m too much of a wimp to go for it. She was at my friend Mariah’s ( bosses daughter) (one of the girls of my dreams) birthday party. We talked alot that night, and she wanted to take a picture with me. But we never did because I ended up leaving and waiting for a text. Well too bad her phone died. I have no luck, and no game. Things I really wish I could change about myself. Maybe then I wouldn’t spend all these damn nights alone. Why can’t I just go over and knock on her door and just kiss her when she opens it. Why am I so afraid to take what I want. Why am I so afraid of failing?