Midnight ramblings

 A man can break apart, and with no one to put him back. He remains shattered on the ground.

Forget what you know, and look at what you got. People are cruel, and you only get one shot.
Fuck this pain, hell it doesn’t make me feel alive. It only makes me wish I was cold, and left in the ground to rot. 
Claim you’re better then that, yet I see right thru you. You’re just another whore, attracting all the guys too you. Hell I know chivalry is dead, so what’s the point. Each time I try, I’m left wondering what did I do?
Truth be told, it’s not me it’s you. You’re the one laughing as I change myself for you.
i hope for your sake he’s worth every minute. I’m going to wind up during from all the hurt inside. That’s just it… There’s not enough aspirin in the world to cure this broken heart. No surgeon will ever put me back together. 
 
Its not very good. And I know it’s not really my style. But lately I have been having bitter thoughts on women. I’ve been learning alot about true colors, and how everyone is anymore. I’m laying in bed typing this up in bed, wishing instead I had a girl here to kiss my pains away. I’ve neglected my OD for too long, and my frustrations and resentments have been coming back. I get soooo pissed off and my mind seems to go in seperate ways. Part of me wants Amanda back, part of me wants someone to come along that is 13 times better then her. I only attract women with kids. I know they sounds insensitive. Most of them don’t want anymore kids. They cannot afford their own in the first place. I WANT kids someday. I want to have the family life. But I want it all to be my own. Or at least try! hell
I’ve lost 110 lbs now, I’m looking great, well at least I think I am? workout every day, eat right every day. arms are getting huge, and my stomach and waist line is getting smaller and smaller. Forgive me for "trying" to explore the realm of women these days.