07/10/2012

I’m sitting here at work, been kinda busy but a little slow run at the moment. I just wanted to talk alittle about a few things that are on my mind. Amanda and I fought the other day, and of course it was about the same thing again. About how I dont spend a lot of time with her, and that I don’t seem to be as interested as I was before. Truth be told its kind of true. I love that girl to death, but it seems that the feeling isn’t mutual anymore. She told me she doesn’t want to tell me she loves me anymore because she thinks that might show to much emotion right now. It scares me to think that she might honestly not care. But at the same time I ask myself of this is really what I want out of this relationship. I want to be happy, and I thought that I would be happy with her. However, I find myself looking to other women. My friend Charlie has his girlfriend, and she is cool as all get out. Someone like her would change everything. Maybe I just want what everyone else has, but it’s just taking a toll on me. I miss relations with the opposite sex. I want nothing more Then to have someone to come home to everyday besides my cat. Someone to just hug and kiss whenever I wanted to. Maybe I am just dreaming, because I am starting to think there truly is no one out there for this helpless romantic I call myself.