04/18/2012
Couple of days since i have wrote publicly again. I’ve honestly felt okay lately. Just haven’t felt like sharing my hatred for feeling like I should be worthlessly worrying about amanda. The truth is we actually had a couple good talks, and she told me she missed me once. It felt good, but at the same time it felt like closure. I think she is trying to get over me as best she can. The book of love is long and boring. Without her I know i will never know TRUE love. I will be left settling for something second best… and is that fair to that person if they would know that? I just hate it.
I feel like I ruined my best friends relationship… Turns out he liked this girl who was 17 years old, and she works with us. Now he is in his late twenties, and I understand that he is trying to find love in the most different spots as he can. He has been worked over by quite a few women and i feel terrible for him. Anyway, he ended up talking to her about 3 months ago, and things went well. They talked secretly for quite a while and never wanted anyone to know. Me being his best friend he eventually broke down and told me about it. I don’t like to judge people, but i felt bad that he was trying to date someone who wasn’t even 18. I didn’t let him see that though because he is however my best friend. Well anyway things started to get good i guess, and they talked all the time. However then never seen each other because they were afraid things would happen before she was legal. She told one of her cousins and her best friend that she was talking to an older person, but wouldn’t allow tim to tell me. (yet i already knew but didn’t let her know) Well i guess I was teasing her at work, and asking her about her love life, and she took it as I was saying i knew about tim. All i was doing was telling her a little about Amanda, and that she sould avoid situations like that. And if she found someone that loved her as much as that, She should hold onto them because it is rare to have love that strong. Well she ended up texting him the other night, and she asked him if I knew. He didn’t want to lie to her so He told her that he told me they were JUST Talking. she then got super pissed off and told him it was over. So now i feel like an ass hole because i know he honestly liked this girl. Adam= Destroyer of Relationships.
Workouts have been kinda lite lately, and That has been a good thing. It turns out I ended up getting an ingrown hair on my knee and then it got infected. I’ve been battling this now for almost a week. There were times I couldn’t even bend my knee without it hurting. I got a few things that are supposed to help with the infection, and the pain. It certainly has been helping me! I hope it gets better quicker though, because I miss jogging as much as i was doing there for awhile.
Still feel just kinda bleh