Hurting the 1 Who Cares

I asked before if life could get any worse. Guess I should have kept my big mouth shut. I took the day off work today so " J " and I could spent the day together. Most of the day went just great. Spent most of the time doing the pevlic thrust and other related things.

But she kept asking when are we gonna be a " couple  ". I wanted to give her some bullshit line so bad, you know just string her along. But I did the right thing told her that we could only be friends. I really do care about her and wish we could be together. It just wouldn’t be right  to play with her feelings. Unfortunately I’m  still in love with the person that causes all my pain.

So after 30 minutes of balling and asking me why, she told me " maybe we should stop talking for a while".  Now what am I suppose to do ???  Talking to her was the highlight of my day most of the time.

I’m just gonna sink into a deeper depression. Why did I have to hurt the only person who seems to care most of the time. I think I’ll be seeing them luxury seats in the sky box of hell pretty damn soon.

Life is bitch, then you marry on then you die.