Whopper Whores
A regular walks into the sandwich shop. He orders the same thing each morning and he always comes in with the same corny joke. ‘I’ll take a whopper with cheese and. some fries.’
The first day I smiled, cute. Ha Ha. We aren’t a Burger King and yet you walked in here ordering a whopper. Heh. Second time and since I simply prepared his usual order and did not react to whopper with cheese. Today though….he asked me why I didn’t laugh at his joke.
It’s not funny. I don’t work at McDonalds.
Angie was in back, I could get away with such banter and was curious if he’d pick up on the fact McDonalds does not serve whoppers. He must have, but did not voice it. He simply said fine, I’ll quit telling the joke.
His usual side kick was having his sandwich doctored by me and the whopper wisher replied, "I sure wish they’d put Michael Jackson in the ground or burn him one way or other, I’m sick of hearin bout him."
Nobody said a word. Perfect….said hick was the only one talking about whom he wished everyone would stop talking about. Seriously, nobody said a word. I looked at him and smiled. He took it up a notch.
"Man this hot weather is makin’ my panties wet."
I can’t help myself. I just can’t. I retorted, "Perhaps it’s really Michael Jackson."
His companion guffawed at his partners expense. Whopper wanter stated, "I ain’t no boy." Why do they set themselves up this way?
I said, ‘Of course not. You made it quite clear you wear the panties in the family."
If I’m going to relocate, I best go out with a bang.
He was had. He knew it, he’s no match for the whopper whore. For him to state such things to Me, that must have been what he viewed me as. A Whopper Whore.
Angie was listening by the way. The entire time. She came up after they left and she inquired with that smile she tries to make go away. She hears everything. I told Angie I’m not sure I wouldn’t have said the same thing even if she was standing right beside me. I told her our house was up for sale…I might be leaving soon, but I doubt it.
With the recent job offer, and now the house up for sale….she knows I’m leaving soon. She didn’t say one word about my comments. She said she didn’t think his whopper comment was amusing either…and I Seriously doubt he’ll use that joke again. Angie couldn’t help it. She let me know McDonalds doesn’t serve Whoppers.
Good for you…guy sounds like a dork. RYN: I mean I need the news to stop talking bout him before I break a tv somewhere like my gym. We’ll agree to disagree but every fiber of my being tells me he molested several children. Sure the dad of the one boy was an idiot but too many things besides it. No matter what though he was out of touch with reality…which is sad.
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LOL, you crack me up. You are quick with the comebacks!
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How could Angie not listen? You’re brilliant!
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I can NEVER come up with stuff like that! I loved Michael’s music, but I think he was probably guilty as sin.
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Hahahahahah!!!! Also, if that guy makes the same joke to the same people every day, why does he still expect people to think its funny all the time?
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You are funny! I bet he keeps coming back for more! Guys like feisty ladies and he’s gonna want to try and get one up on you…not gonna happen though!
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This has GOT to be one of the BEST entry stories you have shared with us. Just when I think you can’t amaze me more, you do! Giral…. I’m crackin’ up, but sooooo proud. Keep writing. Keep being you Ellie. So much can be learned by reading your experience’s. Thank you. Keep writing…keep writing, keep writing! xoxoxox
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LMAO!!!! That is hysterical!!!
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ryn: Thing is, it’s NOT Jerry who’s saying “Get a job” It’s ALL me. It’s all outside pressures. I think Jerry wants me to do what I want, though he’d like it if the house were cleaner! I do all right keeping it up, not great, but not horrible either. It would only take 30-60 minutes on any given day to make it presentable to company. I just don’t know which way to turn. It’s embarrassing being in “the system” but I have to measure that against my need to be here with family. I also just find it hard hard hard to change much… I never used to be afraid of change. But then, with me, change comes all at once. If one thing changes, then a BUNCH of stuff changes. It used to be every 7 or so years, now it’s about every 4. So it’s probably time… though it’s only been about 3 years since we (last) moved. And when I say changes, I mean like I’ll get a job and move at the same time, or have a baby and move at the same time, or start a business and have a baby (and move…) at the same time. This is the LEAST crazy my life has been, truly!
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dear god, retail and food service… the crap you have to put up with from people who think they’re clever. I’ve worked both and used to get all the weirdos too. It’s like, “just order your sandwich and move on, buddy” lol
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🙂
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Lol! You are so witty.
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