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I have simply Got to type this out.  I met a man working on a computer with a wooden leg and metal arm.  He was looking at my funny pictures on facebook and when I said I would totally be your pal, he said the government wanted people to have facebook so they could spy on us.  How every new television sold has a cam for said purpose.  

I said good, cause I’m so cool I want everyone to know it and asked him what happened.  He brightened, and told me about a stupid texting teenager that took out his wife and half his body that night.   

I endured the memorized diatribe for a half hour and began to get weak in the knees.  Turning flesh into post and muscle into steel and grandchildren with no grandmother…his favorite stolen memory is tossing his grandchildren high into the air to watch their glee as they bounce off of a nice fillowily bed.

"Excuse me Dale…but I’m about to get sick.  When I truly hear people…I take their shoes from them for awhile…and I must give yours back."  It stopped him enough for Keith to bring up my Faebook.

 I told him to click on my pictures.  His reaction was go genuine when he saw my Jack being tossed into the air by my husband…and flattening a billowily bed…that I decided I loved him.

I asked him to be my facebook pal, and asked him what that headseat was for.  He said he was a truck driver before he was wiped out, and if a company called his rig and found out he wasn’t wearing the headset, his company was fined $11,000.00.  Even though he wasn’t a truck driver anymore obviously…he couldln’t seem to take them off.

I asked to wear them…and since I’d worn his shoes, he let me.  It was on voice command, only his.  Keith said tell it a command, and I thought I would be funny…to ask it for a command instead.   Dale caught my humor…but Keith insisted on telling me how I was supposed to give a command, not ask for one…Dale Loved Me Back.  Dale clicked enough pictures until he ended up on my Skrillex picture, and I asked Keith what was that (since he was showing off his facebook savvy) and Dale said, "That is Beautiful."

I told Dale if cameras were in tv’s to spy, he was speaking directly to them with his headset.  How he should be my pal and join facebook because he knew he was just as cool as me and wanted to share it.  He hobbled out to his truck and rolled down his window while Keith was gathering me a beautiful boqueat of Mother’s Day flowers and said he had forgotten his damn headset on Keith’s computer console.  I handed him his headset through the window and told him to join facebook.  He said he’d think about it and I said you’ve never had a more compelling argument.

I had left a house warming party to visit Keith (and Dale).  House warming had invited 49 hot babes, and I was the only chick to show up.  I brought the party after falling in love with Dale. 

Keith always used to get tickled after I took off with his lighter.  Before I left with my Mother’s Day Boquet…I snatched his lighter and asked him what color it was. (My behind with concealed lighter was right in front of spying Government television set)  Keith guessed wrong and I waved my middle finger to the television set saying, "I bet they know." 

Today I spent the day with my Lauryn’s 4th grade class in a town two hours away by bus.  I was in charge of 3 children and handled them brilliantly…I was the favorite class mother.  I was trying to pounce onto an untied shoe lace on the way to my car and snagged one…a parent said, "Nice moves!"  Just got back from a Clyde 6th bday party at a swim center.  Two boys fought like men and I embarrassed my sister by breaking them up so they wouldn’t hit my Jack.  I got invited to a "shed fest" today on the bus for field trip.  My bus neighbor had been in property war about shed for 3 years and won, and invited me to her party.  Too many entries….and them lost not written will be a shame years ahead…but for now…I have my circle pals…my son has a mohawk appointment tomorrow with my neighbor 3 houses down.  She brought me spaghetti twice now…I have tapped into coupon sites…and make these new rays of light in my life thoughtful gift baskets for next to nothing…even made pals with the runners of the site…going on a double date with another as soon as my social calander clears up…

It’s added anxiety though…and I need more organization, big time.  My dearest sissy and I have made a plan as of tonight, to be better organizers and go on date nights ourselves from time to time…I’ve really missed my seestor…and if I lose my social jackassery fear…I could…be popular!