Illogical

I’ve been getting into the Twilight series.  Well, I haven’t been "getting into it."  I read the entire first book on Saturday.  I lay in my bed and did nothing but read the book.  Well over four HUNDRED pages all in one day.  I really don’t remember being that thirsty (no pun intended) to read in a really long time.  What’s more, I just couldn’t stop.  I couldn’t stop my eyes and I could stop myself from getting all giddy.

Have you read this book?!  It’s incredible.  Of course, it’s teen fiction, but it’s very well-written and I honestly can’t remember the last time I wish I had a literary character all for myself.  Yeah, I crushed on Harry Potter but that was only because I had a thing for Daniel Radcliffe (as much as possible without being a pervacious pedophile), who was a beautiful reminder of Matthew.  Seriously.  Certain photos were spitting image.

But Edward Cullen?!  Oh, sweet Jesus.  And I do not say that lightly.  I am absolutely, amazingly enthralled with Edward Cullen.  I’m extremely upset about what I’ve just started reading in New Moon; so no one ruin it for me, but still.  Ever the consummate optimist, I believe that things will change.  I never considered myself a vampire sort of girl, but I have never, in my life, wanted to be desired by someone as much as Edward desires Bella.  To have that sort of dangerous infatuation with someone is absolutely capturing.

And I’m not sure if it’s all the teen angst or the morose nature of the saga, but my heart feels so sad.  Maybe the romance is making me long for my own love.  I don’t know.  What I do know is this: for all the logic about relationships that I profess to have; for all the practicality I brag about to myself in the mirror; I want to be swept away.  I want to hear my pulse in my ears and feel my heart pounding so loudly that I am sure that my lover can hear it as well.  I want to suddenly look at someone’s clothes and realize that I’ve never, in the entire time I’ve known him, noticed what he wore because I was always too busy looking into his eyes.

I want to be able to say that I know…for sure…that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love.