16.3.23

Dear You,

Apparently, I’m at an age that hangovers occur. Why did drinking on a school night seem like a good idea?

So part of my therapy is writing down my flashbacks of abuse, in as much detail as possible.. .smells, colours, touch. I’ve done this with my therapist and now I need to read it daily in order to try and desensitise myself to it.

I am struggling with it. I decided one little drink wouldnt hurt.

It did.

Over half a bottle of gin later, I still couldn’t read the narrative without the pain feeling as fresh today as it was back then.

I am starting to wonder if therapy was a mistake. If i quit now, maybe i can rebury that crap that I’ve dug up from the deepest parts of my brain and try to live a somewhat normal life?