My doctor visit yesterday

I really didn’t mean to but it’s been 2 months, I still feel like crap, can’t work even 20 hours a week. I feel restless and exhausted all the time and can’t control my diarrhea or nausea, which is really damaging my life. I have to drive to work the long way, so I’ll pass by enough bathrooms to be safe… same for Mom & Dad’s house, and the doctors… I can’t plan on being anywhere at a certain time. My side and ears still hurt and now we think my toe is broken, my big toe… it just started hurting yesterday and today it’s a lot worse and I haven’t been on my feet. So I have to go get an x-ray. I should have done that today, but I did’t realize I didn’t need an appointment, and I didn’t have my cell phone on me. So I drove home to call for an appointment, found out I didn’t need one, and didn’t feel like driving back over there. I will on Monday.

I was explaining to her how I felt like the gastro had written me off becuase he told me to try Immodium, or come in and sign a waiver and try something that is potentially dangerous, nothing in between. And I was upset, beucase the urologist kept telling me that I have to get this vomiting / diarrhea under control or have more kidney problems, while the gastro is telling me that my kidney is making me sick, I need to go to a urologist. Meanwhile, the ENT can’t do anything for my ears until I get allergy tested and I can’t take anything for the nausea, and itching or have the injections for my ribs and I’m frustrated and sick and broke and it sucks. and she broke down and hugged me and told me how awful it is, becuase she really can’t do too much except give me a note for work, Lortab for pain, and a prescription for IBS .. something that’s not so dangerous I have to sign a waiver, and something that will probably work better then Immodium (that’s just been giving me a couple days of constipation in between.) She also told me how frustrating it is on her end, when you know something is wrong and can’t find and treat it.

I feel bad for making her feel bad… she’s been where I am, and in her case, it turned out she has cancer and it’s quite serious. I don’t feel like she’s not trying to help me. I did tell her that, I came back to her becuase I feel like she’s willing to listen to me and help me find a doctor who can help me. She promised me that for the next couple weeks, we’ll try a new plan and if that doesn’t work, she’ll find me a good internist in Indy or Chicago, it’s a drive, but in her opinion, you have to drive to get a good internist… hers, in Indy, saved her life (by refering her to a good oncologist). She thinks that the cortisone injections are worth a try, at least 2-3 times, becuase she’s seen it work miracles.

For the next couple weeks, I’m going to finish my allergy testing then start taking the phenergan every 12 hours for nausea, while taking the new med 1/2 an hour before every meal, 4 times a day. I’m going to eat 4 small meals a day, 2 of which will be rice or bananas, things I can almost always keep down. I’m going to start taking a vitamin, becuase I’m not getting my fruits and veggies in very well. I’m not going to drink so much water, it’s diluting my electrolytes and making me feel sick. I’m going to drink little to no soda, a cup of milk, and as Gatorade as I care to, and a little bit of water as long as it doesn’t make me feel queasy. I’m going to try to work 20 hours a week, in short 5 hours shifts. I’m going to rest more (she suggested I pick a big pattern and knit it). We’re going to figure out what’s wrong with my foot and treat that (there is a great orthopedic center nearby.) If I still feel down next week, she’s going to prescribe something for depression.

I feel heard, I don’t feel so alone, I have something more to try while waiting and there is an end in sight to some stuff (as soon as this allergy testing it over, I can take the phenergan again and stop barfing). We have a plan, and I feel a lot better.