Throw out the baby with the bath water

I’ve heard this phrase my entire life. The concept of don’t lose the important things in the mix of life. That really only leads to the question of what is really important?

I’ve reread the train wreck of a diary I wrote at 17. For shame. The utter disconnect I have from that life and that person. I want to now use that as a foundation for comparison of how far my life has progressed and the maturity that has been hard won.

I’m a transplant. I was born and grew up in South Carolina. I married and divorced in South Carolina. I gave birth to two beautiful children and suffered the loss of another in South Carolina. My history no matter how sorid is deep in the roots of the Carolinas. I transplanted to Washington DC.

My divorce was final in 2014, December 30th. I was determined to go into the new year free of the heartache of that year. I started 2015 with a new resolve and purpose that for the first time in my life I was free of anyone’s control and could choose for myself. I chose the path of reinvention. I chose to finish the chapter and turn my book into a mini series.

My children saved me. Giving birth to my son at the very young age of 20 may not have been the most thought out plan but it became my saving grace. My daughter arrived 4 years later after a lot of heartache and disappointment. She is the testament that beautiful things can come from dark times.

I have survived so much in my life. Some things were a direct result of my behavior and decisions others were being a victim of the whims of fate. I have accepted all things as being necessary for my growth.

Until I became a mother I could not accept the reality of my choices or my life. Become responsible and the driving need to make my son’s life better than my own saved me when I didn’t even realize I was drowning. I picked up all my broken pieces, smoothed some rough edges and became the mother I so desperately needed growing up and didn’t have.

So I suppose in the scheme of things I did throw out the baby with the bath water. I started over with a new baby.